Robert Johnson Archives - Daniel Davis, LMFT

How Are You Feeling?

May 31, 2016 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

”It is our feeling function that gives a sense of joy, worth, and meaning to life . . . . No one ever succeeded in finding a reason for living by the reasoning process,” writes Robert Johnson.

“It is as if we have gained the highest technical civilization in the history of the world but at the cost of losing the simpler virtues of happiness and contentment,” writes Robert Johnson.

Every country and every culture throughout the world take on a certain character. The Italians have a reverence for extraverted feeling, says Robert Johnson. This is also true for Mexico. Whereas the Germans have a preference for introverted thinking. Within each culture there are individuals with a great variety of personality types, yet a culture as a whole makes a collective choice about what is revered. The Japanese prefer introverted sensing which can be seen in beautifully manicured Zen gardens throughout Japan.

In India, introverted feeling is revered. “One quickly sees the wealth of vocabulary and corresponding consciousness in the realm of feeling but suffering from a crushing poverty in awareness of the practical elements of science, politics, and planning. One can learn by observing a society that has exactly the opposite pattern of inferiority and superiority from one’s own,” writes Robert Johnson.

Whole cultures make a typology decision. Collectively America has made the decision that thinking is the most virtuous capacity that a human being can portray. “Our superior function has given us science and the highest standard of living the world has ever known – the envy of the third world – but at the cost of impoverishing the feeling function,” writes Robert Johnson.

Apple builds the iPhone. Boeing assembles 767 airliners. These types of accomplishments come from a highly disciplined thinking function. Bill Gates writing computer software code, late at night, is the symbol of the useful, brilliant, and noble man in modern life. The person who develops mastery with the extraverted thinking function is our contemporary hero. The development of the thinking function is the focus of most American schools and universities. In the United States, individuals with a well-developed thinking function are offered the best jobs and are the best paid. The development of the thinking function and the things produced have great value for the world.

Yet when one specializes in one function, then the opposite function is neglected. One specializes in extraverted thinking by robbing from its opposite – the introverted feeling function. “One feels this coldness around people who are who are feeling wounded, and they seem to reply to warmth or relatedness in some objective or dispassionate manner that stops all feeling ‘cold’ in its tracks. It is as if such a person is unable to see over his own woundedness and contact another on a human level,” writes Robert Johnson.

Yet it is our greatest weaknesses that provides us with the means to our greatest triumphs. In the English-speaking world, thinking is the superior function. Therefore, it is in our feeling function that our salvation lies collectively.

Unfortunately, discussing the feeling function in English is a challenge, because there are no suitable words. When we lack vocabulary, it naturally follows that we lack consciousness. “Sanskrit has ninety-six words for love; ancient Persian has eighty, Greek three, and English only one. . . . Imagine what richness would be expressed if one had a specific vocabulary for the love of one’s father, another word for love of one’s mother, yet another for one’s camel (the Persian’s have this luxury), still another for one’s lover, and another exclusively for the sunset,” writes Robert Johnson.

No matter how much we think or things we buy – homes, cars, jewelry – we cannot soothe the suffering and wounded feelings. Money and power will not restore our creativity. “I am often puzzled in going to India to see people who have so little in an outer sense but have so much happiness,” asserts Robert Johnson.

Please watch this video by John Gallagher about personality and the feeling and intuitive functions:

Blog 58

What Type of Person are You?

May 3, 2016 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

“Psychological Type is nothing static – it changes in the course of life,” writes Carl Jung.

“We cannot safely assume that other people’s minds work on the same principles as our own. All too often, others with whom we come in contact do not reason as we reason, or do not value the things we value, or are not interested in what interests us,” writes Isabel Briggs Myers.

All of us humans have the same psychological equipment to perceive what happens inside us as well as outside us. We use four different kinds of building blocks to form ideas about our experiences and decide how to respond to events – sensation, thinking, feeling, and intuition. Virtually every one of us is born with a preference for one of these four psychological functions in a descending order. We will use all four of these functions, but our preference will determine how much we will use sensation, thinking, feeling and intuition.

“Sensation tells us something exists; thinking tells you what it is; feeling tells you whether it is agreeable or not; and intuition tells you (from where) whence it comes and where it is going,” writes Carl Jung.

Sensation is simple to explain – how one relates with material things in the world. When a person who prefers sensation type person enters a room, he evaluates the things in it. “There is a solid black table and wooden shelves. The walls are brick, and ceiling has exposed beams.”

The thinking function is rational, cool, and logical. One who prefers thinking will interpret events as they happen, working what it means. This rational psychological function is high valued and almost exclusively taught in North American schools. Our capacity to think is tested and an I.Q. (Intelligence Quotient) labels us. Our place in the modern American world is almost exclusively determined by our ability to think, says Robert Johnson.

The feeling function is a way of judging using values. One who prefers feeling function responds to what happens with value judgment. “Awesome concert, Dude!” “This class bites!”

This name can be confusing, because the term “feeling” function is often confused with emotion or affect. Feeling, in this sense, is the capacity to place value on people, places, things, and events. For many, the feeling function is the orphan of these four and largely misunderstood and haphazardly named.

The person who prefers intuition is able to ‘see’ the whole picture, asserts Anthony Stevens. This is a mysterious process. Intuition is very hard to define. “It is an extraordinary and out of the world capacity of knowing without knowing how one knows,” says Robert Johnson.

These four functions are like radio stations, we can either use our thinking function or our feeling function at one time. Jung assumes that we are born with a preference for one of these. Due to this preference, we will often develop skills related to one of these functions. If we are not supported in our family and schools to develop our preferred functions, then we may have difficulty. For the psychological functions that we naturally prefer may be undeveloped. We are like a fish trying to fly. A fish needs to swim; this is what they are naturally inclined to do.

Balancing our brain helps us to use more of our mind. It is very helpful to learn over time to access all our psychological functions. Please consider watching this video on the importance of balancing your brain:

Blog 54

A Felt Sense of the Body

February 2, 2016 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

Alexithymia is a condition where one has difficulty identifying feelings and difficulty describing feelings. Someone with Alexithymia has trouble with thinking and regulating their emotions. This disorder appears to be partly responsible for disease and mental health issues.

John Omaha, the inventor of Affect Management Skills Training, cites research that men lack emotional sensitivity. Research indicates that emotional numbness is a one way someone responds to stressful challenges in life. Men are more emotionally numb that women. I realize that this is not a surprise to much of the world. Men, women, and children are often reminded of how men lack emotional sensitivity. Women are often better at bonding than men which is related to emotional sensitivity.

Many men have one person that they share their insecurities, fears, shame, sadness, or tragedies – their wife or girlfriend. Many men do not even share intimately with anyone. It can be a lonely world to hide our feelings and thoughts from everyone. I must add that some women do not share their insecurities, fears, shame, anger, or tragedies with anyone as well.

Women seem more playful than men. Watch children. The girls and boys are singing. The girls will be swaying and grooving with the music. The boys will be stiff as boards. It may be the due to incomplete separation from their mother. Robert Bly writes: “When a girl is two or three, she can look up at her mother and say ‘That is what I am going to be’. A boy the same age can look up at his mother and say, ‘That is not what I am going to be’. Separating from the mother is difficult for both genders; some children have good luck with it, some less good luck”. When we separate from our mothers, other boys often shame us calling us sissy or mama’s boy. This results in a wound that stays with us for a long time. Some boys are able to resolve this wound and gain more separation from their mother psychologically.

If as men, we are unable to resolve our wound separating from our mother as a young boy, then will tend to be stiff. We may become a lawyer, an engineer, or scientist. We can become obsessed with distance. He may have a tendency as an adult to treat people as if they were things, and to treat things as if they were people.

Although social support is a key factor in our psychological and physical health, many of us live lives of isolation, loneliness, and despair. We may live in bedroom communities in our neighborhoods, driving home late in our smart cars to our big screen televisions, computers, or smart phones. Some of us are overwhelmed with the responsibilities of children or work that we scarcely feel as if we have a free moment. We had friends once, but no longer find time.

Our experiences of our bodies may be numbness and pain. We may experience moments of relief when eating or drinking alcohol or having sex or playing a video game or working on the computer. Robert Johnson wrote: “We have an insatiable need of entertainment – we moderns watch TV and other screens more than seven hours a day – and for anything that might assuage our longing, especially late at night”.

Many of us remain strangers to our body sensations. Waking up to our emotions, body shifts, vital energy, erotic urges, and even aggressive impulses can be disturbing. We have become strangers to our own pleasure. We have sacrificed our joy for the seductive distractions of the commercial replacements in modern life.

From our morning caffeine, to our mid-morning sugar, to our afternoon Red Bull, and then to the big dinner and perhaps a few drinks. We may find temporary relief in our submission to much artificial assistants to climb up the daunting hill of our day, only to rest and do it all again tomorrow.

Vacations are a rarity. If someone takes time off, they must check their email and return phone calls from work matters. They may get up at 3:00 am for meetings with colleagues from around the globe. We become a source of output for the corporate profit machine. What is our reward? Where do we find relief or sanctuary if our own body no longer recognizes pleasure but only a relief from pain into temporary numbness?

Please watch this video by Nils Peterson on poetry and the body:

Is it Possible to Feel Good and Make Good Decisions?

September 22, 2015 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

Lee Atwater wrote shortly before his death from cancer: “The 1980’s were about acquiring – acquiring wealth, power, prestige. I know. I acquired more wealth, power, and prestige than most. But you can acquire all you want and still feel empty. What power wouldn’t I pay for a little more time with my family! What price wouldn’t I pay for an evening with friends! It took a deadly illness to put me eye to eye with that truth, but it is truth that the country, caught up in its ruthless ambitions and moral decay, can learn on my dime. I don’t know who will lead (in the future), but they must speak to this spiritual vacuum at the heart of American society, this tumor of the soul.”

When someone says, “He has a big ego,” they mean he is inflated. Inflation means to fill up like a balloon or tire – to be puffed up! To be inflated is to see yourself as unrealistically large and unrealistically important. One is beyond the limits of one’s proper size, so one is proud, vain, pompous, and presumptuous. Deflation means letting the air out of something. It can be a great blessing to hit bottom which has been called, “the dark night of the soul.”

From 1995 to 2001, I worked for CPP, Inc. as a corporate trainer and consultant. CPP, Inc. is the exclusive publisher of the MBTI(r) which is also known as the Myer-Briggs Type Indicator(r). The MBTI(r) is the largest selling personality test in the world.

I had just graduated with my Master’s Degree from Santa Clara University a few months before arriving for my first day on the job at CPP, Inc. I thought I knew a lot about the MBTI(r). Over the next six years I learned a great deal about the MBTI from psychologists, researchers, and authors who have devoted a great deal of their profession work to study personality type . It was a humbling experience for me in a good way. I had an exaggerated perception myself and life corrected me. It was a painful lesson – but a valuable one.

Emma Jung said to Elizabeth Howes, “There are egos, and egos, and egos, the problem is to find the real one.”

There is a false ego which is not based on the reality of who I am. Yet, there is a real ego. When our real, authentic ego is in its most creative role, it is spiritual in nature. This healthy ego is an accurate view of who I am. I perceive myself and the world in the right size. I can develop a real ego by making healthy choices which are sometimes difficult and painful.

The ego is who I am speaking about when I say “I.” The ego is what I know about myself, including my attitudes as well as my reactions. It is the part of myself that is aware of reality and makes choices. The ego is an extension of my creative center, what Carl Jung called, the Self. This is true for all of us, I believe.

Some egos are like a canoe on a raging sea. When someone has a weak ego, they feel overwhelmed by the challenges of their life: homework, dating, money, family, work, or children.

There are egos like a Cruise ship on a duck pond. Someone with this type of ego says and does things to look powerful or important, often in an aggressive or ruthless way. Like a large ship, they are too big and slow to maneuver efficiently and effectively with other people and situations.

Once in a while, we find an ego like a tugboat. This type of ego is small, yet nimble and very powerful. The tug boat is powerful enough to tow a Cruise ship. Robert Johnson writes that humility is to know yourself as you are – no more, no less.

The modern world has lead us into a state of consciousness that feels hopeless and barren, because we have lost our instinct. We build planes that fly into space, map genes, cure certain types of cancer, design and build amazing super computers, and reduce the spread of disease – like AIDS. Yet our success goes to our heads, and our contempt grows for what is natural and accidental. We consider the irrational to be an inconvenience and the irrelevant to be a mistake. I get frustrated when my iPhone takes too many seconds to respond to my command. We must all cope with the reality of the world which is both logical and emotional as well as rational and irrational.

As human beings, we can be in a state of self-deception where we are cut off from our psychic resources. This alienation of our ego is a state of not being aware of ourselves and others – egocentricity. When we are consciously aware of reality, our decisions reflect the people around us – those whom our choices affect. If we are objective, then we serve the world with our choices and not merely what we perceive as our narrow self-interest. The more egocentric we are, the greater we lie to ourselves. Fritz Kunkel writes: “Egocentricity without self-deception is not possible.”

Gerhard Adler said, “The ego has to be born and the ego has to be reborn.” The real ego is reborn continually when we act with wisdom. Sometimes, we act under very difficult circumstances with people criticizing us, and it can feel painful – sometimes extremely painful. These are the choices that shape who we are. These are the choices that, in time, cultivate joy within us. Please watch this video, where Dr. Tim Locke discusses, “We Psychology” and the reality of inflation and deflation.

Keywords:
Blog 22:
Gerhard Adler
Blogs by Daniel Davis, inflation
Elizabeth Howes
Robert Johnson
Carl Jung
Emma Jung
Timothy Locke
deflation
ego, false
ego, metaphor (canoe, oceanliner, tugboat)
ego, real
egocentricity
inflation
iPhone
Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)
Santa Clara University
the Self
“We Psychology”
“Is it Possible to Feel Good and Make Good Decisions?”

Have You Ever Overreacted With Someone You Love?

August 4, 2015 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

“Jesus formulated the conception of psychological projection two thousand years before depth psychology: ‘Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye with never a thought for the great plank in your own eye?,’” writes Dr. Edward Edinger.

Carl Jung defines projection as when we see something in someone or something else, unintentionally, because of our subconscious mind. Dr. Bruce Lipton says that only five percent of our thinking it conscious. I am aware that I am typing at this moment. Yet my mind is active in many other ways – beating my heart, regulating my breath, digesting the hamburger I ate for lunch, and missing the woman I love. Therefore, ninety-five percent of our thinking is subconscious, meaning we are not aware of it. What we project onto a person or thing is part of our own mind or we might say Soul. Dr. Marie Von Franz writes that when we are projecting, we see something that is not there or only there in a small way. Usually there is a small part of what is being projected in the person or thing; rarely is there nothing in the person or object of what is projected.

Robert Johnson writes “when we awaken to a new possibility in our lives, we often see it first in another person. A part of us that has been hidden is about emerge, but it doesn’t go in a straight line from the unconscious to consciousness. It travels by way of an intermediary. We project our developing potentials onto someone, and suddenly we’re consumed with him or her. The first inkling that something in us is attempting to change is when we see another person sparkle for us.”

We may fall in love. Another example of projecting is when I can see my teacher as knowing everything. Another is when Jeff sees his dad as being mean and stupid. While it is true that people can be highly intelligent or stupid, a projection is an exaggeration. This problem with thinking is called, cognitive dissonance. Jeff thought his dad was so powerful and nice, but now Jeff’s dad seems dumb and nasty.

Where do projections begin? In the case of romantic love, we fall in love with someone who reflects the positive and negative qualities of our parents. Let’s say Jeff’s dad is a kind person and an engineer who works with computers. His dad is bright and does nice things for Jeff. Yet when Jeff’s dad gets mad, he yells and says things that do not make sense. If this is the case, Jeff will likely fall in love with a woman with kindness and intelligence. Yet she may have a temper and say irrational things at times. John Sanford points out that when we project on our beloved or anyone else, we either undervalue them or over value them. I may fall in love with someone and not see many of their faults. We may see the worst in our teacher and not see their sincere attempt to teach us something of value.

We can ruin our marriage with projections. A husband may demand that his wife have more sex, when he actually may need to develop his ability to connect with others by developing his social skills. A wife may complain to her husband that he does not talk, when she may need to learn to be quiet and listen to herself by writing in her journal or doing counseling. Intimate relationships work when they support the growth of each partner, children, other family, or friends. A marriage is a way to grow, but it also can be a way to avoid growing up.

It is helpful to make notes about this process of understanding a projection. I can learn to separate my projections from other people and things. First, I know that I am projecting when I have an emotional reaction larger than the situation. When I feel a great deal of anger because someone spit toothpaste on the mirror, then it is way too big – an exaggeration. To find out where it originates from I focus on the feeling of anger. I close my eyes and feel the sensations in my body. I notice where they are located in my body. Do I feel heat in my face and tension in my arms and hands? Just notice. Write it down in your journal.

Then, I close my eyes and relax, breathing slowly and deeply for a few minutes. Next, I focus on the event, like seeing the toothpaste spit on the mirror. I feel the anger and notice the sensations of anger in my body. Then, I let my mind wander back in time to the earliest time I felt the same way. This memory often represents the origin of the projection. It also is a part of a neural network in our mind. This is like a tree which has a negative thought and emotions as its root, like I am a filthy pig. The memory is my mother screaming at me, because someone obviously spit on the mirror of our family home. My mother yells at me and says, “You are a filthy pig!”

Watch this video from and learn more about how to work with projection.

Note: Carl Jung identified both a conscious mind and the unconscious mind. The Subconscious Mind was partly conscious and partly unconscious. Dr. Jung asserted that the Unconscious Mind is “really unconscious,” meaning we know nothing of it by our conscious mind. We can only see the influence of the Unconscious Mind in the Subconscious Mind. Modern research on the Conscious Mind and the Subconscious Mind differs in language from the writing of Carl Jung, but supports many of the general ideas of Dr. Jung’s writing during his long career and life that ended in 1961.

The term “Neural Network” relates to modern therapies like EMDR that work with the brain and its functioning. These “Neural Networks” are composed of thoughts, emotions, sensations, and memories – some conscious (Explicit Memories) and some subconscious (Implicit Memories).

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How Are You Feeling?

What Type of Person are You?

A Felt Sense of the Body

Is it Possible to Feel Good and Make Good Decisions?

Have You Ever Overreacted With Someone You Love?

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