Daniel Davis, LMFT

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Do You See What I See?

February 7, 2017 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

We assume we are so evolved in our modern world. We have amazing technology – iPhones, Tesla cars, Japanese trains that speed at 374 miles per hour. Yet as humans, we remain fragile. We are vulnerable to over-reaction and self-deception. “When I fall in love, it will be forever. And I’ll never fall in love again,” sings Nat King Cole.

Falling in love can feel like having my feet swept out from under me. I may see my beloved as flawless. All I want to talk about are the astonishing qualities of my beloved. As I talk about my beloved, I feel high – like I am on cocaine. Such is the power of projection.

Our self-deception can enable us to take on worthy challenges, like education, marriage, or parenting. Yet our ambitious decisions can also lead to chaos, disease, and even death.

We may believe in modern life that we are free of the superstitions of our ancestors, yet this 2 million year old archaic mind is present in each of us. It will operate unconsciously in our lives. If we fail to honor our archaic mind, the cost is very high. Yet if we do integrate the wisdom of our unconscious mind, our lives are enriched beyond measure.

Please watch this video by Manuel Costa on projection:

Blog 64

Filed Under: Blog, Projection Tagged With: 2 million year old, 300 miles per hour, A Path to Life’s Fullness: A New Perspective on the Teachings of Jesus, ambitious, ancestors, archaic mind, cars, chaos, cocaine, death, decisions, disease, education, evolved, Falling in love, iPhones, Manuel Costa, marriage, modern world, Nat King Cole, objectivity, parenting, projection, self-deception, song, superstitions, technology, Tesla, trains, unconscious mind, When I fall in love

Synchronicity

January 24, 2017 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

What is real? Certainly not a dream. I was on a cruise ship on the 30th of December 2008 when I had a dream: a cat is walking down the street as it is carrying a dead animal in its teeth.

When I left the ship on the 2nd of January, I checked my messages. I learned that my dog, Abbie had died on December 30th of 2008. I loved my dog, Abbie. She was a wonderful companion during a difficult part of my life.

Many people tell me in confidence about having such experiences after a person or animal close to them passes away. Yet people rarely talk about such morbid matters in polite conversation.

It is just a coincidence, one might say in response to a tale such as mine. The science of Isaac Newton from the 17th century dominates biology and physics. From this point of view, the universe is assumed to be mechanical.  Human beings are viewed as separate from the universe as a whole.

It is our personal experiences of synchronicity that confirm that we are connected to the great web of the universe.  We are all part of the quantum field.

From the years 1909 until 1913 Albert Einstein was a dinner guest of Dr. Carl G. Jung on several occasions. At the time, Einstein was developing his theory of relativity. Jung was captivated by Einstein’s ideas that time as well as space are relative.   For years, Jung pondered that relationship between time and space to the human psyche. Dr. Jung also was trying to make sense of the baffling coincidences his clients reported to him in therapy. He also had the coincidences in his own life.

It was not until 1930, when Jung finally used the term “synchronicity” publicly. In a letter on Einstein and synchronicity, Jung wrote: “It was Einstein who first started me off thinking about a possible relativity of time as well as space, and their psychic synchronicity”.

Dr. Jung defines synchronicity as “the coincidence between an inner image or hunch breaking into one’s mind, and the occurrence of an outer event conveying the same meaning at approximately the same time.”

Please watch this video from Manuel Costa on synchronicity:

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Filed Under: Blog, Synchronicity Tagged With: 17th century, Abbie, Albert Einstein, biology, Carl G. Jung, Coincidence, Dog, Dream, great web, human psyche, hunch, inner image, Isaac Newton, Laso Apso, Manuel Costa, mind, physics, quantum field, space, Synchronicity, Time, universe

Dreams

January 17, 2017 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

My dreams never cease to dazzle me with the insight, emotionality, and creativity that are hidden within them. I awake with such gold and jewels. My life is more beautiful, because of the time I take to examine my dream life. Our dreams are trying to convey inner truths to us. There is a reality to our psychic life that can be transformative when we embrace it.

Yet where I live in the San Francisco Bay Area, Virtual Reality is highly valued. Science is our religion and technology is our god. Sadly, our dreams are forgotten and discarded as useless trash. When we have the courage to explore our dreams with wisdom and respect, then valuable wisdom can be gained.

Carl Jung said at the end of his life, “I had to understand that I was unable to make the people see what I am after. I am practically alone. . . There are a few who understand this and that, but almost nobody sees the whole….I have failed in my foremost task: to open people’s eyes to the fact that man has a soul and there is a buried treasure in the field and that our religion and philosophy are in a lamentable state.”

Please watch this video by Manuel Costa about dreams:

Blog 61

Filed Under: Blog, Dreams Tagged With: Carl Jung, creativity, dreams, emotionality, God, inner truths, insight, Manuel Costa, philosophy, religion, San Francisco Bay Area, Science, Silicon Valley, soul, technology, Virtual Reality, wisdom

The Self

January 10, 2017 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

“It is not the end of the world,” my dad would say. Often, the crises we perceive as so ominous are not the end of our life as we know it. Sometimes an event, such as disease, divorce, or death can deliver a blow so severe that our life changes. Life can then seem meaningless.

Yet amidst this devastation, we may find something of value. Carl Jung said, “There is nothing so bad that some good can’t come of it.”

That which breaks our hearts, makes it larger. In this breaking, we may find a mysterious wholeness or – in other words – The Self.

The Self is the whole or total personality. A whole personality embraces the unconscious part of our mind which includes our spiritual center. A connection between our self awareness (also called “ego”) and this spiritual (psychic) center is of vital importance for our health and well-being, asserts John Sanford.

Please watch this video by Manuel Costa about the Self and living with a sense of purpose:

Blog 60

Filed Under: Balancing Your Brain, Becoming Aware (Consciousness), Whole Brain State Tagged With: Carl Jung, death, devastation, disease, divorce, ego, Event, John Sanford, Manuel Costa, psychic center, Self, self-awareness, spiritual center, the Self, total personality, tragedy, value, whole personality

Merry Christmas

December 27, 2016 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

What comes to mind when you hear, “Merry Christmas?”  I remember growing up in the Santa Clara Valley in Northern California, USA, and experiencing the wonder of Christmas as a young child.  I remember going to midnight Mass at Queen of Apostles Catholic Church in San Jose a five minutes’ walk from our family home.  I remember my dad’s voice singing the Hallelujah Chorus from Handel’s Messiah.  Upon returning home, my brother and sister and I, open a present from our mom and dad on Christmas Eve before we go to bed.  We awake early on a dark and cold Christmas morning to open more presents next to our Christmas tree under the bright lights of my father’s eight millimeter (8mm) camera.

What is Christmas?  Jesus being born in a stable in the small town of Bethlehem in the Middle Eastern part of the Roman Empire over two thousand years ago?  The angel Gabriel appears to the Virgin Mary and announces:  “Do not be afraid.  Mary, for you have found favor with God.  And now you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you must name him Jesus.  He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High.”

What does this mean to you?  How do you feel when you hear these words?  They may be vibrant and meaningful.  Yet they also may be lifeless.  Moreover, these ancient words (translated into English) may bring up rage or fear.  As we encounter this story about the first Christmas, we have an opportunity to better understand ourselves as well as our world. There are over 2.2 billion people who are part of Christianity.  Yet religion is different from spirituality.  Our internal experience is a core part of our spirituality.  This is a vital part of what we find meaningful in our lives.  If we choose, it is possible to have a different sense of the meaning of Christmas by finding a new relationship to the story of the birth of Jesus.

Manuel Costa has been leading seminars about the teachings of Jesus for many decades with the Guild for Psychological Studies.  Please watch this video and learn more about how to possibly see from a new life giving perspective:

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Filed Under: Becoming Aware (Consciousness), Blog, Spirituality Tagged With: 8mm camera, A Path to Life’s Fullness: A New Perspective on the Teachings of Jesus, angel, bed, being, Bethlehem, book, born in a stable, California, Christianity, Christmas Eve, Christmas morning, eight millimeter, Gabriel, Hallelujah Chorus, Handel’s Messiah, Jesus, Manuel Costa, Merry Christmas, Middle Eastern, midnight Mass, music, presents, Queen of Apostles Catholic Church, religion, Roman Empire, San Jose, Santa Clara Valley, Silicon Valley, singing, spirituality, two thousand years ago, Virgin Mary, voice

Who Do You Think Jesus Was?

June 23, 2015 By Daniel Davis, LMFT 2 Comments

Even the gospel writers have many differences in their descriptions of the story of the life of Jesus of Nazareth.  Who was this Jewish man (from modern day Israel) born over 2000 years ago?  Many people don’t seem to realize that the version of events differ in many ways from the Gospel of Mark and John as well as the Gospels of Luke and Mathew.

In the summer of 2004, I spent seventeen days comparing versions of the Gospels at Four Springs Retreat Center, located in the wooded mountains just north of the beautiful Napa Valley in Northern California, USA.  I was struggling in my life, feeling tired and confused about my faith.  I had been attending church many years and even had read the bible from many years, yet I was unaware of many of the facts of Jesus’ life.  The leaders only asked questions and did not tell me what I was supposed to think; I made up my own mind comparing the sections of the Gospels of Mark, Mathew, and Luke.  I began to question my assumptions about Jesus and what he was teaching.  My experience working with the Gospels at Four Springs Retreat Center changed me deeply and led me to be a more self-responsible, compassionate, and mature person.

The Roman historian, Tacitus, who lived from 55 to 111 C.E., documented the persecution of Christians and the trial by Pontius Pilate of a man who appears to be Jesus who “suffered the extreme penalty (crucifixion).”  Yet some people even question these basic facts of the life of Jesus of Nazareth.  How do we know which version of the story of the life of Jesus is accurate and what he was teaching to his followers?

There are many different ancient languages, such as Aramaic and Greek, as well as the variety of languages into which the modern day bible has been translated.  The texts of the Gospels of Mark, Mathew, Luke, and John were changed many times, even before they ended up in the modern day bible.  There are scores of other early documents which describe the life of Jesus, like the Gospel of Thomas, the Gospel of Mary, and the Gospel of Phillip.  Biblical scholars have been writing and disagreeing about these differences for centuries.

Manuel Costa writes: “Jesus was gripped to his very core by the reality of what he called God or Father.  It was as if some unseen Force sank its claws into his heart and brain and would not let him go.  He lived in an intimate relationship with God and wanted others to do so, too.  That they, too, could experience such a relationship with God was the ‘good news’ (gospel) Jesus proclaimed.”  What do you believe?

In this video, Manuel Costa, talks about his book, “A Path to Life’s Fullness: A New Perspective on the Teachings of Jesus,” which describes what he has learned from studying the bible and spirituality for many years – in the seminary, as a Catholic priest, through graduate studies in Religious Education and Counseling Psychology, and for over three decades as both a marriage and family counselor independently and also as a workshop leader with the Guild for Psychological Studies.

 

Key Words:
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Manuel Costa, Jesus of Nazareth
Blogs by Daniel Davis, Jesus of Nazareth
Tacitus
Jesus of Nazareth, book
“A Path to Life’s Fullness: A New Perspective on the Teachings of Jesus”
“Who Do You Think Jesus Was?”

Filed Under: Blog, Spirituality Tagged With: A Path to Life’s Fullness: A New Perspective on the Teachings of Jesus, Jesus of Nazareth, Manuel Costa, Tacitus

Do You Know Someone Who Cannot Stop Looking at Videos or Pictures of Sex?

June 16, 2015 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

When does sex become an addiction?  Has sex ceased to be fun?

The internet is now the leading source of pornographic materials worldwide.  It provides unprecedented anonymous virtually unlimited access to inexpensive or cost free sexually explicit text, still and moving images, and audio.  More than half of all spending on the internet is related to sexual activity.  Fourteen percent of searches on the internet worldwide and four percent of websites are devoted to sex.

Addiction is when someone is unable to stop doing something that is bad for them.  The addict does not see all the bad things that are happening, because he is taking this action.  The key factor is that the sexual addict is unable to control or stop the sexual behavior even though there are negative results that continue to get worse.  The behavior may include compulsive masturbation, compulsive use of pornography, anonymous or public sexual encounters, and cybersex or phone sex.

Orgasm is the last thing an addict wants.  He creates a bubble of fantasy.  Sex addicts are addicted to drugs inside their own bodies: dopamine, serotonin, and adrenaline.  These neurochemicals suppress anxiety, anger, resentment, and shame.  “Rarely does the average person get to experience, for example, love without fear, or pure joy much less ecstasy.  But these higher states are so powerful that once experienced, they are never forgotten and are sought ever after,” writes psychiatrist, David Hawkins.

The bubble of sexual fantasy allows him to maintain a false set of beliefs about his own power.  Addiction is like a greedy little god inside you, writes Robert Moore.  Your ego is so inflated that you act as if you think you are God.  Grandiosity tends to destroy you if you do not look at it honestly and accept that you have needs and limits.

Addiction is at its core a thought disorder.  The underlying belief of the addict is – “I am a damaged and worthless person.”  The addicts also believes if others really knew who he is, they will not love him.  He does not trust that others can be trusted to help take care of his needs.  The sex addict also believes that sex is his most important need.

Sexual addiction, like all addictions, is biological, psychological, social, and spiritual disease.   One can see the differences when looking at the scan of a brain of a sex addict.  A sex addict frequently experiences with physical, emotional, and sexual abuse during his childhood.  After he grows up, the sex addict often has relationships with other addicts or someone who reduces the consequences of his unhealthy sexual behavior – a co-addict.  His wife and children are affected by his addiction; addiction is a family disease.

Healing is possible from sexual addiction.  Mary O’Malley writes in The Gift of Our Compulsions that “compulsions are our guides back into (being grounded in our body that connects us to wisdom, our heart, and our life.)  This is the connection we knew so well when we were young (as a child); it has been waiting for us to grow up enough so we can know and live it again on an even deeper level.”

Bill Wilson said something similar about addiction –  there is no full recovery from addiction, until we have actually achieved emotional sobriety.  Healing our sexuality begins with accepting the reality of our sexual urges.  Our healing continues as we see sex as a way to spontaneously and playfully build connection and belonging with another.  In this video, Manuel Costa, MFT, author of “A Path to Life’s Fullness: A New Perspective on the Teachings of Jesus,” discusses sexual addiction, perhaps, the most shamed addiction of all.

Key Words:

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Manuel Costa, sex addiction
Blogs by Daniel Davis, sexual addiction
David Hawkins, addiction
Robert Moore
Mary O’Malley
Bill Wilson
pornography
sexual addiction
“Do You Know Someone Who Cannot Stop Looking at Videos or Pictures of Sex?”

Filed Under: Blog, Recovery Tagged With: Bill Wilson, David Hawkins, Manuel Costa, Mary O’Malley, pornography, Robert Moore, sex addiction

Marriage and Family in the Information Age

June 10, 2015 By Daniel Davis, LMFT 4 Comments

Ever had a quarrel about Facebook with someone you love?  Does it frustrate you, when someone’s iPhone seems more important than you?

The comedian, Louis CK, said on the Conan O’Brien show: Smartphones are toxic.  Kids need to build empathy and talk to people.  One needs to build an ability to just be yourself and not be doing something.

We live in the information age.  Smartphones and social media, like Facebook and Instagram, affect how we communicate, date, and have sex.

Peter Diamandis notes that a Massai Warrior in Africa with a iPhone in 2015 has access to more information than the US President had only 20 years ago, and he also has better mobile communication than the US President had 26 years ago.  For 100,000 years, more information and better communications consistently made us healthier, wealthier, and more tolerant.  Our ways of communicating provided information in doses we could digest – the drum, smoke signal, cave painting, horse, town crier, carrier pigeon, newspaper, photograph, telephone, radio, and film.

David Shenk writes that around 1945, we began to produce information much faster than we were able to process it.  The invention and technological improvement of the computer, microwave, television, and satellite have produced too much information – a glut.  The amount of knowledge available and the speed of reaching this information provides great benefits, like instant communication with family and loved ones all over the earth.  Yet the information overload we experience leads to confusion, stress, and even ignorance.

Phillip Novak says, “Super-abundance is grand, until we understand that it can rob us of the peace that is our spiritual birthright.”  Children and teens view more than 40,000 ads per year on television, the internet, billboards, and in magazines.  Research has shown children younger than 8 are intellectually and psychologically defenseless against advertising, like television commercials for toys.  Social media sites like Facebook create conflict in marriage and families.   In this video, Manuel Costa, MFT, author of “A Path to Life’s Fullness: A New Perspective on the Teachings of Jesus,” describes the impact of technology on marriage and family.

 

Key Words:

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Manuel Costa, technology and social media
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Peter Diamandis
Phillip Novak
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technology and social media
“Marriage and Family in the Information Age”

Filed Under: Blog, Marriage and Intimacy Tagged With: computer, David Shenk, Manuel Costa, media, Peter Diamandis, Phillip Novak, social media, technology, television

What is Conscious Marriage?

June 2, 2015 By Daniel Davis, LMFT 6 Comments

Do you want to feel good about your relationship?  Love can dazzle us – baffle us!  We often learn about love in film, music, and books.  We talk about love a lot, but we are typically only discussing infatuation or falling in love.  Love is complex, mysterious, and happens in every society on earth.  Love is far beyond mere romantic infatuation or sexual attraction.

Amancer

“To wake up and see your smiling face
is such a pleasure and a privilege to me

To seek the light in the brilliance of your gaze
(the way she looks at him)
is to awaken with love

To see the sun nestled in your hair
and daybreak hiding in your smile

To see that my verse now has rhythm and color
is such a pleasure

To awaken with the importance of knowing
that I am yours that I only belong to you
that never again my dreams will feel cold
It’s to have a future now
To wake-up and see that I have you next to me

To wake up and see your smiling face,
that which I have for so, so, long, sought to have
It is a pleasure, a privilege to me”

Recorded by Luis Miguel
Written by Manzanero

 

When the woman I love calls, I feel wonderful.  When she doesn’t call, I feel sad.  I would call this experience of falling in love, a positive projection.  We often idealize people as teens, seeing them as more powerful, charming, or talented than they actually are.  One can worship a public figure (actress, singer, politician, teacher) or older family member, wanting to learn all about them.  I remember falling in love and thinking that I would feel exactly the same bliss – forever.  Yet over time, we begin to see that the one we love is imperfect – has flaws.  Our feelings change.

With the process of falling out of love, I have a chance of changing.  I can see the person whom I love more accurately.  I may still feel deeply connected to them and even joyful, yet I can see their faults, more clearly.

When we fall out of love, we gain the opportunity to take our projection back.  For we see exaggerated in others that which we fail to see in ourselves.  The very things we love about the other person are qualities ripe to be developed in us.  I fall in love with a socially gifted and funny woman and, in time, may find it important to develop my own social skills.

This is where conscious love begins.  Then we can see each other more as we are, we can choose to love even though we both have faults.  I can learn about the brokenness of my beloved as well as my own with respectful communication.  In this reality lies the great potential of love and intimacy to help us become more mature.  In this video, Manuel Costa, MFT, author of “A Path to Life’s Fullness: A New Perspective on the Teaching of Jesus,” describes healthy marriage.

Key Words:
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Manuel Costa, love
Blogs by Daniel Davis, love
“Amancer,” song
love
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positive projection
What is Conscious Marriage?

Filed Under: Blog, Marriage and Intimacy Tagged With: Amancer, love, Manuel Costa, marriage, positive projection

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About Daniel Davis, LMFT

I create an environment where clients experience their unique significance, authentic empowerment, and profound acceptance and collaborate with clients to identify solutions to their current crises. For more information on how I can help you, contact me today by calling 408-249-0014 or emailing info@danieldavislmft.com. I look forward to speaking with you! Read More…

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Daniel Davis, M.A., LMFT
Counselor in Santa Clara, CA
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