Do you avoid talking or thinking about a subject because it is so embarrassing? Have you ever kept a secret from yourself?
Our shame and guilt can have an enormous impact on our lives. We can devise elaborate methods to avoid the pain of toxic shame.
Maya who is gifted in math class pretends to not understand, because she does not want to appear intelligent. Maya would rather not stand out, so she gets a grade of a C instead of an A.
Toxic shame is the feeling and belief that one is worthless. The energy of shame can create walls that keep us from our deepest desires we may not even realize we want.
Our intelligence and our psychological insight cannot prevent toxic shame from robbing us of our joy and fulfillment. Isn’t it a shame when a talented guitarist never plays publicly again because of his need to play perfectly?
Especially in the area of grief and loss, we can be affected by guilt and shame. We may feel responsible for someone’s injury even though it was not our fault.
Please watch this video by Janet Childs about shame and guilt: