Daniel Davis, LMFT

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Coping with Grief and Loss

May 22, 2018 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

Endings are difficult.  Divorce, death, and moving to another home seem particularly challenging, when I read research.  These research studies use statistics and can sort what events tend to cause people to feel stress.

Individuals are not numbers.  What distresses one person can delight another.  Bob says divorce is terrible.  Jasmine insists divorce is the most incredible event of her life.

Yet again, transitions require us to adjust.  It takes some energy to adapt to our new circumstances.  Our perception of the change can have a great impact on how we adjust to our new conditions.

Muhammad is devastated, because his wife left.  Hafiz was ecstatic, after he left home.

Whether we perceive these events as good or bad, adjustments are required.  It is wise to take extra care of ourselves as we go through the passage of change.  This doorway can surprise us in its intensity.

Please watch this video by Janet Childs, from the Center for Living with Dying, about coping with loss and grief:

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Filed Under: Blog, Grief and Loss Tagged With: Centre for Living with Dying, change, Coping, death, divorce, endings, grief, Janet Childs, loss, moving, new home, perception, transitions

The Self

January 10, 2017 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

“It is not the end of the world,” my dad would say. Often, the crises we perceive as so ominous are not the end of our life as we know it. Sometimes an event, such as disease, divorce, or death can deliver a blow so severe that our life changes. Life can then seem meaningless.

Yet amidst this devastation, we may find something of value. Carl Jung said, “There is nothing so bad that some good can’t come of it.”

That which breaks our hearts, makes it larger. In this breaking, we may find a mysterious wholeness or – in other words – The Self.

The Self is the whole or total personality. A whole personality embraces the unconscious part of our mind which includes our spiritual center. A connection between our self awareness (also called “ego”) and this spiritual (psychic) center is of vital importance for our health and well-being, asserts John Sanford.

Please watch this video by Manuel Costa about the Self and living with a sense of purpose:

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Filed Under: Balancing Your Brain, Becoming Aware (Consciousness), Whole Brain State Tagged With: Carl Jung, death, devastation, disease, divorce, ego, Event, John Sanford, Manuel Costa, psychic center, Self, self-awareness, spiritual center, the Self, total personality, tragedy, value, whole personality

The Journey From Depression and Isolation to Resilience and Optimism

December 8, 2015 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

One of the most difficult experiences of my life has been depression. I can remember being depressed back when I was 13 years old. When I was in the 8th grade, I remember walking around the grass field at Roger’s Junior High in West San Jose, California, USA. It was a very painful time. My whole body felt heavy, hard to move. I felt tired. My head was light, and I was confused. My eyes were blurry. I hurt all over.

Later, I would again suffer from depression, and I have learned much about depression over the years. When I feel any depressed feelings now, I am highly motivated to feel better as soon as possible. I really hate depression. I do whatever it takes to feel better. Some people describe depression as being numb. Dr. David Hawkins writes that if we live long enough, most of us experience depression at some time in our life. It could be minor, as in regret, or major, as in mourning a death or losing something considered valuable.

Depression is a disorder of mood and bonding. It is a disorder related to our current relationships. One can withdraw socially at any stage of life due to poor bonding with parents as a child and poor social skills. If we have a marriage or another intimate relationship with poor communication and bonding, we can experience depression. Living in a family that is highly dysfunctional with violence or substance abuse can contribute to depression. Working in a job that is a poor fit in terms of interests, personality, or values can contribute to depression. Dealing with additional life stressors can trigger a depressive episode, like divorce, death, financial losses, and health problems.

In Los Gatos, California, psychiatrist and Stanford University medical school professor, Saad A. Shakir, MD, sees patients at his clinic. He said that depression is one of the chief reasons that people go to see a mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, or a counselor. Clients make it into therapy often long after the depression began. Over time, depression progresses into a phase that makes it much more difficult to ignore, because the depressive symptoms are affecting one’s marriage or work.

With treatment, often a person’s mood elevates and they feel some relief. But patients are often discharged from counseling without achieving sustained relief from the symptoms of low energy, sadness, troubled sleep, disrupted eating, poor concentration, and feelings of worthlessness consistently and for a long time, called Sustainable Remission from depression.

Dr. Shakir states that few patients receive adequate treatment for depression. Inadequately treated depression may get worse over time and may be associated with negative changes in the physical brain and how the brain works. Fortunately, the mind can change the brain. The brain has neuroplasticity. Our thoughts and feelings change our physical brain.

The Work Health Organization and the Canadian Network for Mood and Anxiety Treatment assert that it is important for mental health professionals to competently assess and treat depressive and anxiety disorders to full remission. In the Australian and New Zealand clinical guidelines it states that “the aim of treatment is to achieve and maintain remission.”

It is possible to experience vitality after having experienced depression. Recovery from depression is important in our health, relationships, and career. If one is willing to do the healthy work of depression much is possible. Please watch this video on being proactive in recovery from depressive symptoms:

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Filed Under: Blog, Emotions, Uncategorized Tagged With: Alcoholism, Anxiety Treatment, Australian, bonding, Canadian Network, clinical guidelines, David Hawkins, death, depression, disorder, divorce, domestic violence, drug addiction, family highly dysfunctional, financial losses, health, marriage, Mood, neuroplasticity, New Zealand, numb, problems, relationships, Saad A. Shakir, sexual violence, socially, stressors, substance abuse, Sustainable Remission, sustained remission of depression, Trauma, treatment, unemployment, WHO, withdraw, World Health Organization

“Do-It-Yourself” Resources

Access an ever-growing library of “do-it-yourself” informational and instructional videos, articles, and blog posts in over 30 different categories ranging from “Calming Oneself” to “Balancing Your Brain” to “Self-Care” … [GET STARTED…]

About Daniel Davis, LMFT

I create an environment where clients experience their unique significance, authentic empowerment, and profound acceptance and collaborate with clients to identify solutions to their current crises. For more information on how I can help you, contact me today by calling 408-249-0014 or emailing info@danieldavislmft.com. I look forward to speaking with you! Read More…

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I provide Virtual Counseling, E-Counseling, and Online Counseling and Psychotherapy Services as well as Phone Therapy Sessions to residents of California. As such, you can access any of my services at a location of your choosing. Please contact me today for more information and to find out how I can help you!

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Daniel Davis, M.A., LMFT
Counselor in Santa Clara, CA
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