Daniel Davis, LMFT

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NFL Football

January 31, 2017 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

I remember watching NFL football as a young kid. I loved watching quarterback Len Dawson play with the Kansas City Chiefs. I loved playing football in the grass and the mud with my friends. When I was able to play on a team, all the better. In the seventh grade, I played flag football and started at the center position, hiking the ball to the quarterback. The next year I was cut from the eighth grade team.

When I started Cupertino High School in the ninth grade, I was determined to make the team. I often played as hard as I could. I started the freshman football team on defense at Defensive Tackle. In the second game against Mountain View High School, I had a quarterback sack. I was defensive captain for the next week’s game. I was honored as one of the best Defensive Tackles, first team All-League player at my position. I was injured in later years and never played football another year on a high school team. Yet my experience was priceless. I learned a great deal about hard work, focus, discipline, motivation, and teamwork.

I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area in Northern California, USA, watching the Oakland Raiders win three World Championships and the San Francisco 49ers win five Super Bowls. I watched coaches like Bill Walsh and John Madden lead their teams with brilliance and class. I loved watching players like Ronnie Lott, because of his values. He would talk about how he loved his fellow players. I learned a great deal about life and success watching the NFL.

For many years, I have been learning about the brain and repetitive brain trauma. A very high percentage of players at the high school, college, and professional levels are effected. According to research cited by Dr. Daniel Amen, ninety-six percent of NFL players have brain damage and seventy-nine percent have CTE (Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy). Former NFL superstars such as Frank Gifford and Ken Stabler suffered from CTE. This condition of CTE causes memory loss, confusion as well as aggression, depression, suicidality, and later in life, dementia. Dr. Bennet Omalu deserves enormous respect and praise for his courageous research to understand CTE.

NFL players have been in the news for allegedly committing domestic violence and sexual assault. I have mixed feelings about football. It has taught me many great lessons. Yet, I can see that it is a violent and dangerous game in many ways. I feel fortunate to have played the game. I respect those men who play the game well, who live with integrity and honor.

Please watch this video by Manuel Costa about the life of an NFL Player:

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Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: aggression, Bennet Omalu, Bill Walsh, brain damage, center position, Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy, college, confusion, CTE, Cupertino High School, cut, Daniel Amen, defense, defensive captain, Defensive Tackle, dementia, depression, discipline, domestic violence, eighth grade, first team All-League, flag football, focus, football, Frank Gifford, freshman football team, hard work, high school, hiking the ball, John Madden, Kansas City Chiefs, Ken Stabler, Len Dawson, memory loss, motivation, Mountain View High School, National Football League, NFL quarterback, ninth grade, Oakland Raiders, professional, repetitive brain trauma, Ronnie Lott, sack, San Francisco 49ers, seventh grade, sexual assault, suicidality, Super Bowls, Tackling Life Head on: Lessons for Kids' Lives With Ronnie Lott As Coach, teamwork, World Championships

Depression and Music

March 1, 2016 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

Some of the symptoms of depression include low energy, irritability, sadness, physical pain, low self-esteem, self-criticism, hopelessness, crying, and changes in eating and sleeping. The source of these symptoms can be biological, psychological, social or spiritual. One can suffer from low blood sugar or a low level of testosterone. Our beliefs can contribute to symptoms of depression. A bad marriage can lead to these symptoms. We may be in a spiritual crisis, lacking meaning in our life. As we transition from one set of beliefs about reality to another set of beliefs, we often feel loss.

When we experience loss, consciously experiencing and expressing our sadness enables us to integrate the loss. Expressing anger is also a part of the process of grieving loss. When we resist our feelings, we may feel numb. When people experience depression, they often describe their bodies as feeling numb. Often we avoid consciously experiencing our emotions and expressing them, when we fear being overwhelmed by them. When we fear being overwhelmed by emotions, we find ways to block our feelings. Often, these are not conscious choices to not feel.

Most often, we learned early in our lives to control our feelings by developing defenses. We may breathe in a shallow way and tighten our muscles to resist emotions. These defenses to consciously experiencing our sadness or anger can lead to depressive symptoms.

Unfortunately, feeling depressed is pretty awful. Depression is not good for our physical health. We can learn to express our feelings. One way to do this is with another person who is comfortable with emotion and affirms your experience of your emotions. In this way, we have a corrective emotional experience which enables us to learn to consciously experience and express our feelings.

Music is an outstanding way to consciously experience feelings. “When the time comes that you’re ready to begin facing your emotions, music that speaks to your heart can help you begin to release your pain,” writes Maureen Draper.

I can pick music which enables me to cry. The process of crying enables me to move forward with my grief and integrate the reality of my life without my beloved. When I hear a John Denver song, I often think of my dad. We can associate certain songs or musicians with a loved one who has passed on. Maureen writes: “Music that reminds you of a loved one brings to the surface whatever may not have been finished or unsaid between you.”

Art of all kinds, be it paintings, poems, stories, film or music, can evoke emotion. Great art reaches us emotionally, and we vicariously experience something important to us. This is why we can be so drawn to a certain author or musician. The beauty of art can move us in countless ways. We can cry with awe when listen to Adagio with Strings by Barber. We may experience exhilaration or hope when listening to Mozart or the Beatles.

Listening to music can be profoundly comforting. The music from our childhood can bring us feelings of being protected and nurtured by our parents as a child. I can remember the song, “Puff the Magic Dragon” from my childhood. Many songs from this era remind me of the emotions of my childhood.

When we are alone with our grief in the middle of the night, music can help us feel the comfort of being in our mother’s arms as a child. Music from early in a relationship with our husband or wife can bring up the emotions of falling in love, which are very healthy for our bodies.

We can use music to – in a sense – move backward in time to recapture hidden emotions and memories. Some may wish to feel the feeling of safety by imagining being held by the divine during our darkest hour of pain. Music can remind us of this kind of love.

Perhaps, finding the core of who we are is the most powerful dynamic to resolving depressive symptoms. Music is a powerful elixir to find the essence of our self. Please watch this video by pianist and author, Maureen Draper, about music and depression:

Filed Under: Art, Blog, Emotions Tagged With: beliefs, biological, changes, crying, depression, eating changes, emotion, energy, Falling in love, grief, hopelessness, loss, low irritability, Maureen Draper, memories, music, numb, physical pain, pianist, psychological, recapture hidden emotions, sadness, self-criticism, self-esteem low, sleeping, social, spiritual, symptoms

What is Emotional Regulation?

January 26, 2016 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

An important part of psychological well-being is healthy self-soothing. Being able to calm yourself down is important. When someone feels too much anger, he may yell, curse, or hit someone else. Acting out our emotions destructively is one consequence of poor emotional regulation. Another way of dealing with painful emotions is to try to numb ourselves with alcohol or other drugs. Many problems result from our inability to regulate our feelings well.

When we are born, we rely on our mother (or primary caregivers) to calm down. Our brain is designed to rely on interactions with others to find balance and adjust to surrounding circumstances. Early in life, infants need connections to caregivers in order to develop healthy brain function. The interactions between the child and parent enable the child to achieve balance or regulation within her own mind. Interactions with caregivers allow the child’s brain to develop the structures necessary to move from emotional regulation with a parent to more independent forms of emotional regulation.

When children who are infants, toddlers, and preschoolers experience healthy emotional regulation in their relationships with their mom, they become school children who are seen by peers and teachers as likable. These children also perform well in school, show good social skills, and act in ways that build their relationships with others. But children with poor emotion socialization have difficulty in peer relationships, have trouble in school, and are at risk for emotional problems such as anxiety and depression during their childhood. These effects persist into adulthood.

Children need environments, like home and school, where they can be emotionally expressive. Children need parents who express their emotions, but do not overwhelm their children. A mother’s emotions have a powerful influence on her child’s emotional development. Children benefit when mothers talk about their own emotions. When their children are emotional, mothers who avoid yelling and punishing and provide positive responses to their children, enable their children understand their emotions better. Children also need their emotions to be accepted. When children are raised in an environment where they learn to explore their own emotions, and they learn to make connections between their emotional experience and events they see. They are able to understand their emotions in various situations.

After they reach school age, children who assess and process emotional information will in turn respond more appropriately to others and have skills that promote their own emotion self-soothing. The more emotional intelligence that children have, the greater their empathy they have with peers. These children also behave in ways that promote relationships, and they are more popular. The children who can identify their emotions and who self-sooth them well are seen as more likable and more prosocial in relationships with their peers. These early emotional experiences are a foundation for emotional intelligence.
When we are feeling highly emotional, we are in a state of emotional imbalance. An event with the people or events around us can trigger an emotional reaction. These emotional reactions are made more likely by past experiences that created vulnerabilities within the individual. These vulnerabilities are embedded in our memory and directly influence our thoughts, feelings, and choices.

Our emotions and affect influence what we see and hear. Our perceptions can be changed by the affect being experienced by the perceiver. “An affect oriented clinician can help a client more accurately perceive his environments by teaching him (Affect Management Skills Training) AMST skills to regulate his affect,” writes Dr. John Omaha.

The development of affect regulation, enables the emergence of a strong sense of self. When one has poor sense of self, he will not be able to self-soothe well. An adult with a strong sense of self is able to manage disturbing events and respond quickly to stressful demands. She will be able to remain self-aware during a disturbing event. This optimally functioning adult will be flexible, highly skillful, and self-aware in the area of emotions and affect. She will genuinely and with authority increase positive emotions, like joy, and calm negative emotions, like shame. This has been called a self-reflective function. Self-soothing with be accomplished by making use of inner images of safety, soothing, validation, and affirmation. The optimally functioning adult will not use alcohol, other drugs, food, sex, relationship, or work to numb out emotions. They will manifest vitality and will pursue the goals she sets for herself with energy and persistence. Please watch this video and learn about healthy emotional regulation from Dr. John Omaha:

Keywords:
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Filed Under: Affect Management Skills Training (AMST), AMST (Affect Management Skills Training), Blog, Calming Oneself Tagged With: Affect Centered Therapy, Affect Management Skills Training, AMST, anxiety, brain function, depression, emotional intelligence, Emotional Regulation, emotionally, emotionally flexible, emotionally self-aware, healthy caregiver, highly skillful, infant, John Omaha, likable, mother, numb, parents, preschoolers, psychological, school children, school performance, self soothing, social skills, strong sense of self, toddlers, well-being

Why is Primary Food so Important?

January 19, 2016 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

“Food is the most powerful drug you will ever take,” writes Barry Sears.

We are effected greatly by the food we eat. I think there are many variations in how each person’s body metabolizes food. Learning which foods specifically work well with your body is essential. Every cell in your body makes themselves new every 5 months, including your brain cells. When we eat a healthful food, our body is able to function better. What we eat makes a big difference in how we feel.

Our cells are not determined by their genes, because genes are only a blueprint. What directs the cellular development are the signals sent to our cells with what we drink, eat, think, and feel. The science of Epigenetics researches how our genes are influenced by our choices.

Anxiety, depression, impulsiveness, poor attention, and worry can be effected by food. Many people who are depressed overeat or eat too little. Skipping breakfast can lead to low energy in the morning. Eating a big meal can make one tired, ready for a nap.

Sugar can give one a temporary high with an increase in blood sugar, but then can lead to a drop in blood sugar. This crash in blood sugar can leave one feeling tired. Research indicates that foods high in sugar have the same effects as addictive drugs, like cocaine or heroin.

Inflammation is a physical condition that can lead to heart disease and complications from aging. Foods high in sugar, refined flour, processed foods, trans fats and saturated fats can lead to inflammation. “To treat depression, we must learn how to get rid of causes of inflammation and restore the normal immune balance through our food and nutrients, as well as our exercise, sleep, and stress management habits,” writes Dr. Hyman.

Do you know that you have a gut-brain with more neurotransmitters and serotonin than in the brain located in your head? “Over the years I have seen emotional, psychiatric, and behavioral symptoms triggered by problems in the gut,” writes Dr. Mark Hyman. Our gut-brain is the enteric nervous system (ENS). The bugs who live in your gut are more important in determining your health than your DNA fingerprint, writes Dr. David Relman. Foods low in fiber, high in sugar, processed, and lacking nutrients as well as a high calorie diet cause all the wrong bacteria to grow in our gut. Resolving these issues can have a profound effect on your mental and physical health.

Many of us suffer quietly with anxiety and depression. These mental health problems touch many of our family or friends. Dr. Mark Hyman writes, “Our broken brains cause many problems – anxiety, depression, bipolar disease, personality disorders, eating disorders, addictions, obsessive-compulsive disorder, attention deficit disorder, (autistic disorders) … learning difficulties, and dyslexia. Many psychiatrists and neurologists wouldn’t qualify these problems as treatable diseases.”

Daniel Amen writes that “a therapist told us this story at a recent lecture:

‘I’m glad you mentioned sugar. I used to be a very angry person; sometimes I would even scare my family. It made me feel terrible. I took anger management classes, but they didn’t even seem to help. When I eliminated sugar from my diet, I noticed an almost immediate reduction in outbursts, plus I had better energy, lost weight, and was much more focused.’”

There is hope. We can change a great deal with good information and our willingness to do what it takes to be healthy and whole. Please watch this video with Elizabeth Schindler and learn about Primary Food:

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Filed Under: Blog, Food Tagged With: addictions, addictive, anxiety, attention deficit disorder, autistic disorders, Barry Sears, bipolar disease, cell regeneration, cocaine, Daniel Amen, David Relman, depression, diet, diseases, drugs, dyslexia, eating disorders, Elizabeth Schindler, energy increase, ENS, enteric nervous system, Epigenetics, food and mental health, gut-brain, heroin, high calorie, high in sugar, impulsiveness, lacking nutrients, learning difficulties, low in fiber, Mark Hyman, neurologists, obsessive-compulsive disorder, outbursts, personality disorders, poor attention, Primary Food, processed foods, psychiatrists, sugar, treatable, weight loss, Worry

The Journey From Depression and Isolation to Resilience and Optimism

December 8, 2015 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

One of the most difficult experiences of my life has been depression. I can remember being depressed back when I was 13 years old. When I was in the 8th grade, I remember walking around the grass field at Roger’s Junior High in West San Jose, California, USA. It was a very painful time. My whole body felt heavy, hard to move. I felt tired. My head was light, and I was confused. My eyes were blurry. I hurt all over.

Later, I would again suffer from depression, and I have learned much about depression over the years. When I feel any depressed feelings now, I am highly motivated to feel better as soon as possible. I really hate depression. I do whatever it takes to feel better. Some people describe depression as being numb. Dr. David Hawkins writes that if we live long enough, most of us experience depression at some time in our life. It could be minor, as in regret, or major, as in mourning a death or losing something considered valuable.

Depression is a disorder of mood and bonding. It is a disorder related to our current relationships. One can withdraw socially at any stage of life due to poor bonding with parents as a child and poor social skills. If we have a marriage or another intimate relationship with poor communication and bonding, we can experience depression. Living in a family that is highly dysfunctional with violence or substance abuse can contribute to depression. Working in a job that is a poor fit in terms of interests, personality, or values can contribute to depression. Dealing with additional life stressors can trigger a depressive episode, like divorce, death, financial losses, and health problems.

In Los Gatos, California, psychiatrist and Stanford University medical school professor, Saad A. Shakir, MD, sees patients at his clinic. He said that depression is one of the chief reasons that people go to see a mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, or a counselor. Clients make it into therapy often long after the depression began. Over time, depression progresses into a phase that makes it much more difficult to ignore, because the depressive symptoms are affecting one’s marriage or work.

With treatment, often a person’s mood elevates and they feel some relief. But patients are often discharged from counseling without achieving sustained relief from the symptoms of low energy, sadness, troubled sleep, disrupted eating, poor concentration, and feelings of worthlessness consistently and for a long time, called Sustainable Remission from depression.

Dr. Shakir states that few patients receive adequate treatment for depression. Inadequately treated depression may get worse over time and may be associated with negative changes in the physical brain and how the brain works. Fortunately, the mind can change the brain. The brain has neuroplasticity. Our thoughts and feelings change our physical brain.

The Work Health Organization and the Canadian Network for Mood and Anxiety Treatment assert that it is important for mental health professionals to competently assess and treat depressive and anxiety disorders to full remission. In the Australian and New Zealand clinical guidelines it states that “the aim of treatment is to achieve and maintain remission.”

It is possible to experience vitality after having experienced depression. Recovery from depression is important in our health, relationships, and career. If one is willing to do the healthy work of depression much is possible. Please watch this video on being proactive in recovery from depressive symptoms:

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Filed Under: Blog, Emotions, Uncategorized Tagged With: Alcoholism, Anxiety Treatment, Australian, bonding, Canadian Network, clinical guidelines, David Hawkins, death, depression, disorder, divorce, domestic violence, drug addiction, family highly dysfunctional, financial losses, health, marriage, Mood, neuroplasticity, New Zealand, numb, problems, relationships, Saad A. Shakir, sexual violence, socially, stressors, substance abuse, Sustainable Remission, sustained remission of depression, Trauma, treatment, unemployment, WHO, withdraw, World Health Organization

Symptoms of Depression

December 1, 2015 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

“People need to realize that their thoughts are more primary than their genes, because the environment, which is influenced by our thoughts, control the genes.” Bruce Lipton

Depression is complicated. It is dominated by sadness or low energy. We may lose interest in what was once important to us. These symptoms can have various origins. Depression is overdetermined, meaning there are biological, psychological, social, and spiritual dynamics.

It is possible to see depression when looking at a brain scan. It is clearly a biological phenomenon. Not only our genes play a role, but sleep, food, and exercise also affect depression. We may be predisposed to depression, because our parents or grandparents suffered from depression and carried the genes. Yet research from the science of Epigenetics dramatically changes assumptions about depression.

Epigenetics literally means above the gene. The main idea is that the surface area of a cell determines the health of the cell, not the gene. The gene is merely a blue print for the cell. The signals that the cell receives at the surface area of the cell determines whether a cell thrives. If the cell is in a toxic environment, then the cell will respond defensively. If the cell is in a nourishing environment, the cell will grow and thrive. The signals that the surface area of the cell receives are thoughts, feelings, food, and drink.

Dr. Richard Davidson says that “there is no more effective way to produce localized and specific changes in the brain than behavioral or mental interventions. Behavioral or mental interventions can produce more specific biological changes than any currently known biological method that is known – medication for example.” Taking medication effects the entire body, not just the small areas of the brain related to depression. We are given a long list of side effects, when the pharmacist hands us medication for depression.

Our thoughts, feelings, and behavior affect our depression. If I am self-critical in a destructive way, this can magnify depression. It is important to change our thoughts. Sixty-five percent of our thoughts are redundant and negative. We need to change our thinking at the subconscious level to move toward health and freedom – full remission of depression.

With depression, one is avoiding emotions that seem overwhelming or is simply unaware exist. Learning to regulate our emotions and affect enables us to feel safe expressing our emotions in a healthy way. Resolving trauma can make a big difference, enabling us to feel peaceful and energized.

Our relationships can also effect depression. Depressed people can isolate themselves and then are deprived of the energy that comes from human interaction. Our beliefs and our values can lead us to be depressed. Please watch this video on symptoms that can be related to depression:

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Filed Under: Blog, Emotions, Uncategorized Tagged With: behavioral interventions, biological changes, Bruce Lipton, cell, depression, drink, energy, environment, Epigenetics, feelings, food, genes, interest diminished, interventions, medication, mental, nourishing, over-determined, pharmacist, psychological, redundant and negative, Richard Davidson, sadness, self-critical, side effects, signals, social, spiritual, subconscious thinking, surface area, symptoms, symptoms of depression, thoughts, toxic environment

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About Daniel Davis, LMFT

I create an environment where clients experience their unique significance, authentic empowerment, and profound acceptance and collaborate with clients to identify solutions to their current crises. For more information on how I can help you, contact me today by calling 408-249-0014 or emailing info@danieldavislmft.com. I look forward to speaking with you! Read More…

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Daniel Davis, M.A., LMFT
Counselor in Santa Clara, CA
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