When we fall in love, life can seem so wonderful and full of promise. As time passes, we must face the reality of our lives and our romantic partner.
The messages we receive about what a marriage or other intimate romantic relationship should look like can be confusing and discouraging. The messages we see in movies and books or hear in songs can distort our perception of what is normal and what is possible.
Too often we use our relationship to calm ourself or distract ourself from unpleasant emotions. When our spouse or partner fails to make us feel better, we may think our relationship has failed. We may think, “I have fallen out of love.” We may seek a new partner who can make us feel calm or even euphoric.
Yet, the key to healthy intimacy is to internally calm ourselves as individuals and connect with pleasant feelings – healthy emotional regulation. The healthier my emotional regulation as an individual, the stronger the bond I can form with my partner or spouse.
This healthy bonding is the foundation of a relationship that is mutually satisfying and co-creative. This is the promise of love that we glimpsed when we initially fell in love.
Call me at 408-249-0014 or email me at info@danieldavislmft.com to find out how online couples counseling and online marriage counseling can help you start building the relationship you desire, today.
