Daniel Davis, LMFT

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Depression and Music

March 1, 2016 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

Some of the symptoms of depression include low energy, irritability, sadness, physical pain, low self-esteem, self-criticism, hopelessness, crying, and changes in eating and sleeping. The source of these symptoms can be biological, psychological, social or spiritual. One can suffer from low blood sugar or a low level of testosterone. Our beliefs can contribute to symptoms of depression. A bad marriage can lead to these symptoms. We may be in a spiritual crisis, lacking meaning in our life. As we transition from one set of beliefs about reality to another set of beliefs, we often feel loss.

When we experience loss, consciously experiencing and expressing our sadness enables us to integrate the loss. Expressing anger is also a part of the process of grieving loss. When we resist our feelings, we may feel numb. When people experience depression, they often describe their bodies as feeling numb. Often we avoid consciously experiencing our emotions and expressing them, when we fear being overwhelmed by them. When we fear being overwhelmed by emotions, we find ways to block our feelings. Often, these are not conscious choices to not feel.

Most often, we learned early in our lives to control our feelings by developing defenses. We may breathe in a shallow way and tighten our muscles to resist emotions. These defenses to consciously experiencing our sadness or anger can lead to depressive symptoms.

Unfortunately, feeling depressed is pretty awful. Depression is not good for our physical health. We can learn to express our feelings. One way to do this is with another person who is comfortable with emotion and affirms your experience of your emotions. In this way, we have a corrective emotional experience which enables us to learn to consciously experience and express our feelings.

Music is an outstanding way to consciously experience feelings. “When the time comes that you’re ready to begin facing your emotions, music that speaks to your heart can help you begin to release your pain,” writes Maureen Draper.

I can pick music which enables me to cry. The process of crying enables me to move forward with my grief and integrate the reality of my life without my beloved. When I hear a John Denver song, I often think of my dad. We can associate certain songs or musicians with a loved one who has passed on. Maureen writes: “Music that reminds you of a loved one brings to the surface whatever may not have been finished or unsaid between you.”

Art of all kinds, be it paintings, poems, stories, film or music, can evoke emotion. Great art reaches us emotionally, and we vicariously experience something important to us. This is why we can be so drawn to a certain author or musician. The beauty of art can move us in countless ways. We can cry with awe when listen to Adagio with Strings by Barber. We may experience exhilaration or hope when listening to Mozart or the Beatles.

Listening to music can be profoundly comforting. The music from our childhood can bring us feelings of being protected and nurtured by our parents as a child. I can remember the song, “Puff the Magic Dragon” from my childhood. Many songs from this era remind me of the emotions of my childhood.

When we are alone with our grief in the middle of the night, music can help us feel the comfort of being in our mother’s arms as a child. Music from early in a relationship with our husband or wife can bring up the emotions of falling in love, which are very healthy for our bodies.

We can use music to – in a sense – move backward in time to recapture hidden emotions and memories. Some may wish to feel the feeling of safety by imagining being held by the divine during our darkest hour of pain. Music can remind us of this kind of love.

Perhaps, finding the core of who we are is the most powerful dynamic to resolving depressive symptoms. Music is a powerful elixir to find the essence of our self. Please watch this video by pianist and author, Maureen Draper, about music and depression:

Filed Under: Art, Blog, Emotions Tagged With: beliefs, biological, changes, crying, depression, eating changes, emotion, energy, Falling in love, grief, hopelessness, loss, low irritability, Maureen Draper, memories, music, numb, physical pain, pianist, psychological, recapture hidden emotions, sadness, self-criticism, self-esteem low, sleeping, social, spiritual, symptoms

What is a Meme?

December 15, 2015 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

“There are two kinds of people in this world; those that enter a room and turn the television set on, and those that enter a room and turn the television set off,” says the character Raymond Shaw in the movie, “The Manchurian Candidate.”

There are people who wish to sell us things. Advertisers want us to buy cheeseburgers or shampoo. Leaders, like principals and bosses, hope we buy the idea that following all the rules is important and makes us a good student or employee. Politicians want us to believe that voting for them will make life better for ourself, our family, and our community. Effective leaders are good at using special ideas, called memes.

Memes are ideas that infect our minds like a virus. A virus works by entering another person (or a computer) and making copies. Even though a meme acts like a virus in our mind, a meme is not always a bad thing. It depends on what the idea is about. Richard Brodie writes: “a meme is a thought, belief, or attitude in your mind that can be spread to and from other people’s minds.”

A fad like wearing a beard or using Instagram is due to memes. This is a meme: “Instagram is the way to connect online that gets me more friends.” Another meme is: “Men who wear beards attract sex partners.” Do you believe these memes as true? Where do these memes come from?

Before seven years old, we take in the memes of our parents, neighbors, schools, and culture. We are programmed like a computer with these memes. I can believe that “I am intelligent” or “I am stupid.” Either one of these beliefs effects my performance at school or work.

The patterns in our brains evolved over millions of years. If we look at archeological sites, we can see that our environment changed very little over most of the time. Only in the most recent time, our environment started changing so fast that our daily routines changed in a single lifetime. Memes supported our lives for millions of years in a world that changed very slowly.

We live in a world today that is changing very rapidly. Think how much smartphones have changed our lives. I no longer use a telephone book to find contact information. I receive and send text and emails that travel all over the world in an instant. We have a tremendous mismatch between the wiring of our prehistoric brains and the complex opportunities and challenges of modern life.

Advertisers, politicians, and sales people use memes to influence us. We can be programmed like a computer, metaphorically. Our minds are programmed by using repetition. Commercials repeat the same idea over and over. We are also programmed by confusing us with conflicting information. I remember a vacuum salesman at my childhood home. He was talking so fast, explaining about the monthly payments. I just wanted him to leave and stop pressuring my father. Salespeople can talk so fast that you feel trapped. We may feel the only way out of a painful sales pitch is by being rude or is to buy something. Another method of creating a meme is by attaching the idea to food, sex, or danger of some kind. The most powerful memes are linked to sex, food, and danger, such as a way to protect your children.

Too often, sex sells Budweiser or Nacho Cheese Doritos. We are being manipulated by smartphones, television, malls, and cruise ships. The price may be right, but what is the cost. I sit for a timeshare presentation to receive my blanket and my bottle of tequila. I am on vacation for a limited time, but I am spending my time listening to a salesperson talk as fast as he can to manipulate me into buying a timeshare. I feel trapped. People often take the bait and buy the timeshare. Often, this is a poor financial decision.

Life can feel overwhelming. We can make ourselves depressed with our beliefs. Our thoughts have a significant influence over our mood. Our worldview has a big impact on the quality of our life. Please watch this video and learn to think about depression differently:

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The Journey From Depression and Isolation to Resilience and Optimism

December 8, 2015 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

One of the most difficult experiences of my life has been depression. I can remember being depressed back when I was 13 years old. When I was in the 8th grade, I remember walking around the grass field at Roger’s Junior High in West San Jose, California, USA. It was a very painful time. My whole body felt heavy, hard to move. I felt tired. My head was light, and I was confused. My eyes were blurry. I hurt all over.

Later, I would again suffer from depression, and I have learned much about depression over the years. When I feel any depressed feelings now, I am highly motivated to feel better as soon as possible. I really hate depression. I do whatever it takes to feel better. Some people describe depression as being numb. Dr. David Hawkins writes that if we live long enough, most of us experience depression at some time in our life. It could be minor, as in regret, or major, as in mourning a death or losing something considered valuable.

Depression is a disorder of mood and bonding. It is a disorder related to our current relationships. One can withdraw socially at any stage of life due to poor bonding with parents as a child and poor social skills. If we have a marriage or another intimate relationship with poor communication and bonding, we can experience depression. Living in a family that is highly dysfunctional with violence or substance abuse can contribute to depression. Working in a job that is a poor fit in terms of interests, personality, or values can contribute to depression. Dealing with additional life stressors can trigger a depressive episode, like divorce, death, financial losses, and health problems.

In Los Gatos, California, psychiatrist and Stanford University medical school professor, Saad A. Shakir, MD, sees patients at his clinic. He said that depression is one of the chief reasons that people go to see a mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, or a counselor. Clients make it into therapy often long after the depression began. Over time, depression progresses into a phase that makes it much more difficult to ignore, because the depressive symptoms are affecting one’s marriage or work.

With treatment, often a person’s mood elevates and they feel some relief. But patients are often discharged from counseling without achieving sustained relief from the symptoms of low energy, sadness, troubled sleep, disrupted eating, poor concentration, and feelings of worthlessness consistently and for a long time, called Sustainable Remission from depression.

Dr. Shakir states that few patients receive adequate treatment for depression. Inadequately treated depression may get worse over time and may be associated with negative changes in the physical brain and how the brain works. Fortunately, the mind can change the brain. The brain has neuroplasticity. Our thoughts and feelings change our physical brain.

The Work Health Organization and the Canadian Network for Mood and Anxiety Treatment assert that it is important for mental health professionals to competently assess and treat depressive and anxiety disorders to full remission. In the Australian and New Zealand clinical guidelines it states that “the aim of treatment is to achieve and maintain remission.”

It is possible to experience vitality after having experienced depression. Recovery from depression is important in our health, relationships, and career. If one is willing to do the healthy work of depression much is possible. Please watch this video on being proactive in recovery from depressive symptoms:

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Symptoms of Depression

December 1, 2015 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

“People need to realize that their thoughts are more primary than their genes, because the environment, which is influenced by our thoughts, control the genes.” Bruce Lipton

Depression is complicated. It is dominated by sadness or low energy. We may lose interest in what was once important to us. These symptoms can have various origins. Depression is overdetermined, meaning there are biological, psychological, social, and spiritual dynamics.

It is possible to see depression when looking at a brain scan. It is clearly a biological phenomenon. Not only our genes play a role, but sleep, food, and exercise also affect depression. We may be predisposed to depression, because our parents or grandparents suffered from depression and carried the genes. Yet research from the science of Epigenetics dramatically changes assumptions about depression.

Epigenetics literally means above the gene. The main idea is that the surface area of a cell determines the health of the cell, not the gene. The gene is merely a blue print for the cell. The signals that the cell receives at the surface area of the cell determines whether a cell thrives. If the cell is in a toxic environment, then the cell will respond defensively. If the cell is in a nourishing environment, the cell will grow and thrive. The signals that the surface area of the cell receives are thoughts, feelings, food, and drink.

Dr. Richard Davidson says that “there is no more effective way to produce localized and specific changes in the brain than behavioral or mental interventions. Behavioral or mental interventions can produce more specific biological changes than any currently known biological method that is known – medication for example.” Taking medication effects the entire body, not just the small areas of the brain related to depression. We are given a long list of side effects, when the pharmacist hands us medication for depression.

Our thoughts, feelings, and behavior affect our depression. If I am self-critical in a destructive way, this can magnify depression. It is important to change our thoughts. Sixty-five percent of our thoughts are redundant and negative. We need to change our thinking at the subconscious level to move toward health and freedom – full remission of depression.

With depression, one is avoiding emotions that seem overwhelming or is simply unaware exist. Learning to regulate our emotions and affect enables us to feel safe expressing our emotions in a healthy way. Resolving trauma can make a big difference, enabling us to feel peaceful and energized.

Our relationships can also effect depression. Depressed people can isolate themselves and then are deprived of the energy that comes from human interaction. Our beliefs and our values can lead us to be depressed. Please watch this video on symptoms that can be related to depression:

Blog 32

Filed Under: Blog, Emotions, Uncategorized Tagged With: behavioral interventions, biological changes, Bruce Lipton, cell, depression, drink, energy, environment, Epigenetics, feelings, food, genes, interest diminished, interventions, medication, mental, nourishing, over-determined, pharmacist, psychological, redundant and negative, Richard Davidson, sadness, self-critical, side effects, signals, social, spiritual, subconscious thinking, surface area, symptoms, symptoms of depression, thoughts, toxic environment

How Do I Deal With Loss?

November 24, 2015 By Daniel Davis, LMFT 2 Comments

In 1981, my father asked me to meet him at Baskin Robbins ice cream store, near my mom’s apartment where I lived. He bought me ice cream, probably a Banana Royale with Pistachio ice cream, hot fudge, and bananas and whip cream. As I ate my ice cream, my dad told me he had cancer. I was on 18 years old and did not expect such adult news. A few days later, I was playing football with friends. I began talking with my friend Chris about traveling to Los Angeles to see the preseason Monday Night Football game between New England Patriots and Los Angeles Rams. By 7:00pm, we were at the airport and waiting for our airplane. We checked into the Newporter, a resort, in Orange County. I let my sadness carry me all the way to Southern California. I remembered in the middle of the trip that my father was having exploratory surgery. I called home and heard he was ok.

When the doctors at Kaiser Permanente Hospital surgically opened up my father’s body, they could see that cancer was riddled throughout his lymphatic system. His doctors simply closed up the incision and told my father that had six months to live. I cherish the time I had to spend with him until his death on June 10, 1984.

I had four people close to me die from April 1984 until August 1985. My response to all of these tragedies was to avoid my sadness. Later in my life, I had to learn to do the work of grief. Sadness has an important function in the grieving process. Grief turns us inward. We can lose energy, poor concentration, experience sleep changes, lose motivation and experience changes in our appetite.

Grief not only has to do with death, but also with the ending of relationships of all kinds, including marriages. Daniel Goleman writes, “The main purpose for sadness is to help adjust to a significant loss, such as the death of someone close or a major disappointment. Sadness brings a drop in energy and enthusiasm for life’s activities, particular diversions and pleasures, and, as it deepens and approaches depression, slows the body’s metabolism. This loss of energy may well have kept saddened – and vulnerable – early humans close to home, where they were safer.”

Whenever you love someone and you are no longer able to spend time with them, you naturally feel pain. Yet there is a difference between the pain as a result of loss and the suffering as a result of false beliefs and avoidance. David Kessler said, “One of the biggest problems is that you might try to push aside or ignore your feelings. You judge them as too little or too much. You carry a lot of bottled up emotions, and anger is often one that is suppressed. In order for it to heal, however, it must be released. We’re not speaking only about anger associated with death, but about anytime we feel anger. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, the renowned grief expert who identified the Five Stages of Grief, said we could feel anger, let it pass through us, and be done with it in a few minutes. She went on to say that any anger we feel over 15 minutes is old anger.”

What is the journey to healthy grief and eventually to resolution? I have learned to lean into the sadness as well as other emotions. By acknowledging and consciously experiencing the sadness, we can let go. Our loses need to be integrated psychologically. Grief enables us to update our consciousness with reality. The current loss reveals other losses – not integrated – that lie beneath. Grieving can take time. Eventually, we can remember the wonderful parts of the past and not experience the pain. Janet Childs who works for the Centre for Living with Dying, in Santa Clara, California, USA, said “grieving is like the ocean tides. The grief can come and go. Some days can be harder than others.”

We all experience grief differently. When I am grieving, it really helps to let myself be. I like to pay attention to my body and follow my inclinations. When I am able to minimize my obligations, I am free to follow my inclinations. As long as it is not self-destructive, I indulge myself. If I am tired, I sleep. If I am hungry, I eat. If I just stare off into space, it is ok.

Having empathic and accepting people to listen are invaluable. It helps to have a few good listeners – too not overburden any one person.

During a loss, We may discover that our thoughts are negative. When we break up a relationship, we may think “I will always be alone.” “Why do bad things always happen to me?”

Sadness can be subtle. It is very important and its power as well as the power of all other emotions should not be underestimated. Daniel Goleman writes that sadness is “grief, sorrow, cheerlessness, gloom, melancholy, self-pity, loneliness, dejection, despair, and when pathological, severe depression.” Please watch this video by Janet Childs on grief and loss:

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Filed Under: Blog, Emotions, Mindfulness Tagged With: appetite changes, Baskin Robbins, cancer, Centre for Living with Dying, concentration poor, Daniel Goleman, David Kessler, death, definition and purpose, doctors, drawing for healing, energy, father, grief, grief and loss, Hospital, ice cream, Janet Childs, Judith Peterson, Kaiser Permanente, lose, lymphatic system, Monday Night Football, motivation poor, sadness, sleep changes, tragedies

What Helps Calm Anxiety?

September 23, 2015 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

Filed Under: Emotions

How Do I Know If I Am Depressed?

September 23, 2015 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

Filed Under: Emotions

Anxiety

September 22, 2015 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

Filed Under: Emotions

How Do I Know If I Have The Correct Diagnosis for Depression?

September 21, 2015 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

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What Do I Do To Feel Better When I Am Feeling Depressed?

September 21, 2015 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

Filed Under: Emotions

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About Daniel Davis, LMFT

I create an environment where clients experience their unique significance, authentic empowerment, and profound acceptance and collaborate with clients to identify solutions to their current crises. For more information on how I can help you, contact me today by calling 408-249-0014 or emailing info@danieldavislmft.com. I look forward to speaking with you! Read More…

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