Calming Oneself Archives - Daniel Davis, LMFT

Flash Technique Instructions

March 23, 2026 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

The Flash Technique is helpful with calming down and changing our response to a memory. Here are the basic steps for using the Flash Technique by yourself.

1. Pick a Positive Emotional Focus (PEF). Think of a memory that is pleasant and keeps your attention. You can use a beach scene, pets, family, dancing, or your favorite sports team. A song or movie scene can work as well. Use something to focus on that keeps your attention and feels good.

2. Choose a target. What do you want to change? If you are feeling upset, then where do you feel it in your body. Is it a thought? Or is it a memory? How disturbing would it be if you were to think about it? If 0 is neutral and 10 is the most upsetting, what number would you choose for how you feel right now? Briefly write down the feelings, thoughts, memory, and the number. When you focus on the feelings, does an earlier memory come to mind? The best way to feel better is to use the earliest memory that comes to mind when focused on these feelings. Use this memory, if one comes to mind, for your target.

3. While tapping, only focus on the positive memory (PEF). This is important.

4. Begin tapping slowly on your thighs as you focus on your positive memory (PEF). The tapping will strengthen the positive memory. This is called Bilateral Stimulation (BLS).

4. While continuing to tap slowly (BLS) and focusing on the positive memory (PEF), blink your eyes quickly three times. This may seem a bit challenging. Keep focused on the positive memory the whole time as you tap and blink three times in a row quickly. Do five sets of triple blinks and tapping.

5. Check the Target. Now go back to the early memory. How do you feel in your body, when you think about the early memory? Do you feel differently from when you wrote down the number from 0 to 10?

6. Repeat until the number you rate the feelings is 1 or 0.

Stop if the Flash Technique is not effective. If the Flash Technique does not appear to be working, there should be a reason. Talk to your mental health professional about what you experienced.

Review of the basic steps of the Flash Technique:

Identify and test a Positive Engaging Focus (PEF).

Choose a target and rate the feelings from 0 to 10, if doing so would not be too much.

Begin slow Bilateral Stimulation (BLS), either leg tapping or butterfly hug (cross arms over chest and slowly, lightly tap your hands). Try a rapid triple blink every 8 to 9 seconds.

Complete 5 or 6 consecutive triple blinks about 8 or 9 seconds apart while completely focused on the positive memory (PEF).

Now check lightly into the memory without thinking of details, and notice if there are any differences.

Repeat the sequence of five triple flashes until number is 1 or 0 or when sets of the Flash Technique do not continue to be effective.

How EFT Corrects for Psychological Reversal

August 6, 2024 By Daniel Davis, LMFT 1 Comment

The first tapping point we use in the EFT routine is called the Karate Chop point, because it’s located on the fleshy outer portion of the hand, the part used in karate to deliver a blow. EFT has you tap the Karate Chop point with the tips of the other four fingers of the opposite hand.

The Karate Chop Point (EFT)

Repeat your affirmation emphatically three times while tapping your Karate Chop point. You’ve now corrected for psychological reversal, and set up your energy system for the next part of EFT’s Basic Recipe, the Sequence.

The Sequence

You now tap on meridian end points in sequence. Tap firmly, but not harshly, with the tips of your first two fingers, about seven times on each point. The exact number is not important; it can be a few more or less than seven. You can tap on either the right or left side of your body, with either your dominant or nondominant hand.

First tap on the meridian endpoints found on the face. These are: (1) at the start of the eyebrow, where it joins the bridge of the nose; (2) on the outside edge of the eye socket; (3) on the bony ridge of the eye socket under the pupil; (4) under the nose; and (5) between the lower lip and the chin.

EB, SE, UE, UN and Ch Points

Then tap (6) on one of the collarbone points (see illustration). To locate this point, place a finger in the notch between your collarbones. Move your finger down about an inch and you’ll feel a hollow in your breastbone. Now move it to the side about an inch and you’ll find a deep hollow below your collarbone. You’ve now located the collarbone acupressure point.

The Collarbone (CB) Points

About four inches below the armpit (for women, this is where a bra strap crosses), you’ll find (7) the under the arm point.

Under the Arm (UA) Points

Name	Abbreviation	Point		Emotions
Side of Hand	SH	Small Intestine 1-4	Yang	sorrow, feeling divided
Top of Head	TOF	Top Of Head GV20	Yang	Self-criticism
Eyebrow	EB	Urinary Bladder 2	Yang	fear, suspicion
Outside Eye	OE	Gall Bladder 1	Yang	rage, judgmentalness
Under Eye	UE	Stomach 1	Yang	obsessive worry
Under Nose	UN	Govering Vessel 27	Yang	Embarrassment, lack courage
Chin	CH	Conception Vessel 24	Yin	shame, vulnerability
Collarbone	CB	Kidney 27	Yin	fear, shame, isolation
Under Arm	UA	Spleen 21	Yin	anxiety, over-compassion
Thumb	TH	Lung 11	Yin	grief, detachment
Index Finger	IF	Large Intestine 1	Yang	guilt, controlling, holding on
Middle Finger	MF	Pericardium 9	Yang	anger, hurt, bewildered
Little Finger	LF	Heart 9	Yin	heartbreak, relationship pain
Back of Hand	BH	Triple Warmer 3	Yang	depression, pain, FFF
Ribs*	R	Liver 14	Yin	rage against self, guilt

* not included in EFT tapping rounds

What Is the Matrix?

January 2, 2018 By Daniel Davis, LMFT 1 Comment

What is possible? Do I really know? I have assumptions that help me navigate each day. I assume there is day and night. I get up each weekday morning with the morning sunlight and go to work. In the evening, I return home after work and I have leisure time. I go to sleep after the sun sets. The next weekday I get up and do the same.

There are somethings that we assume will never change. Yet all things do change. Leap year reminds us that our calendar and the universe are out of sync. We add a day every four years, because our way of measuring time is not a perfect fit with the movement of the planet earth around the star we call the sun. There are trillions and trillions of stars in the universe.

If we just consider human life on planet earth, light is quite varied. If I travel to Alaska, USA, in July, the sun sets at 10:30pm. In winter, the sun only briefly reveals itself.

The speed of light changes as does gravity. Our world changes in ways we may not realize.

As much as I may deny it, I must acknowledge that I live in an unpredictable universe. Death can stop me in my tracks. Suddenly the rhythm of my life can be thrown into chaos.

Yet there is nothing so bad that something good cannot come of it. Even Jesus’ crucifixion, enabled others to see and understand new possibilities that changed our world forever.

Learning to withhold our judgments can be very powerful. Once we make assumptions, we exclude options. There is a place of total possibility, some name the Quantum Field or the Matrix. This reality identified in quantum physics is a very powerful concept. Physics is the most validated science today.

It is modern physics and the study of electromagnetic fields that enables my iPhone to post this blog on my website which allows you to read it from almost anywhere in the world. Modern communication is remarkable thanks to modern physics. Quantum physics reveals a universe that is ripe with possibilities.

When we can approach life with an open mind, many constructive things can emerge. If I can set my assumptions aside, I can see the world in a new way.

My assumptions can act like blinders which limit my vision. It is like looking at the world standing in a valley. If I can set my assumptions aside, I can see the world from a larger perspective. It is like moving from the ground level of the valley to the top of a hill.

This is a mindful position of awareness. When I can observe others, events, and myself from a wider vantage point, I can see more choices. Our two basic powers as humans are to observe reality and make choices. Seeing more possibilities is empowering for each of us.

Please watch this video on a whole brain state which opens up our perception enabling us to see the world more clearly and to see more options:

Blog 67

What Time Is It?

May 24, 2016 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

How do you relate to time? Are you a punctual person?

Our relationship with time is important. Some of us are more oriented to the clock. When someone prefers to use our Judging process in the outer world, then one often has a different relationship to time. One is more aware of Chronos – a sense of time from ancient Greece related to chronological or sequential time. As human beings we have evolved from the sundial to the grandfather clock to the pocket watch to the digital wristwatch to the Apple Watch. Perhaps, we just look at our iPhone for the time. People who prefer their Judging Function prefer to be timely and organized. They tend to like planning and being methodical.

People who prefer to use their Perceiving Function are more spontaneous and flexible. They seek to experience and understand life as opposed to wanting to control it. They are adaptive and change course. People who prefer their Perceiving Function are more aware of Kairos – another sense of time from ancient Greece that is related to “a time in between.” While Chronos is quantitative, Kairos is qualitative.

The term Kairos reflects an earlier sense of time before sundials or clocks. Originally, our sense of time as human beings came from the cycles of nature – summer, fall, winter, and spring. The length of a day changes throughout the year depending on the season. The weather often varies from season to season. Time is variable. Farmers plant in spring and reap in the summer. The length of the light during the day waxes and wanes. Our bodies change with the cycles of nature – a woman has a period.

Yet the clock has become an unquestioned assumption for many modern people. We have a mechanical counting which reflects a 24 hour day. Our digital time is different from the rhythms of nature. A day in late December is very different from a day in the middle of June in Kansas City, USA, or Jakarta,Indonesia or Johannesburg, South Africa as well as for most of the world. Before we developed clocks our sense of time was different – more natural.

We had a different consciousness: sometimes referred to as mythical consciousness. These ancient people were keenly aware of nature and its rhythms. They perceived time as more of a circle of death and rebirth. “The ancients are said to have perceived events as iterations of a cosmic eternal return and regeneration within a specific place, whereas we believe that events occur on an irreversible, linear timeline that is independent of place,” writes Glen Aparicio Parry.

Most of us just assume that this ancient perception of time is fairytale, but that linear time is real. We do not even consider the possibility that this ancient view of time has validity. “The idea that time and space exist as independent dimensions is a relatively recent development. For most of mankind’s existence, knowledge of time and space was dependent upon place, for it was closely tied to the observation of the natural cycles of celestial and earthly phenomena surrounding one’s homeland. Knowing when and how to hunt, gather, and eventually to plant food all depended upon a close monitoring of the recurring rhythms of a place. What we know as time and space were merged into place,” writes Glen Aparicio Parry.

Our present day view of historical time assumes that time is simply a mathematical abstraction. This belief came from Isaac Newton who asserted that there was an “absolute” time. He asserted that time was then divorced from space.

Much of our modern thought originates from ancient Greece. One needs to carefully tune in to recognize an opening of Kairos. This is the source of the expression, “Seize the Day!” Kairos is also associated with an ever moving wheel of fortune. “Kairos time lives somewhere between intervals of Kronos time,” writes Glen Aparicio Parry.

“An Indigenous sense of time, it seems to me, includes both Kronos and Kairos and then maybe something more. It is understood that all is in flux, that everything is always changing and that even natural rhythms must be closely monitored because they are not guaranteed to remain the same. Monitoring these natural rhythms and cycles helps to develop an intuitive awareness, an awareness that recognizes the opportune time to act within a given cycle. This awareness seamlessly takes into account as host of variables, which are not logical or able to be broken down or counted because they are far too numerous – but they are understood nonetheless at an intuitive level,” concludes Glen Aparicio Parry.

Please watch this video on the Whole Brain State by Dr. John Omaha:

Blog 57

What Do You Think?

May 17, 2016 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

“I have learned, and am still learning, to slow down my thinking processes in order to allow a deeper knowing to come through. I am learning that the most important thing we can do is listen – to each other and to the natural rhythms that surround us,” writes Glen Aparicio Parry.

Our thinking is not our own. We assume that our thoughts are generated from our brain. We assume that we as humans create our own thoughts. What if this was not reality?

Indigenous peoples believe that humans are connected to nature. Human beings and nature are one. When we separate people, animals, things, or events from nature, we are able to study them in a neat and tidy way. Yet when we obtain knowledge in this abstract way, the knowledge is no longer connected to the cycles and rhythms of the whole landscape. With the study of natural phenomenon, we emphasized our objectivity. We separate ourselves from the things that we are studying.

We then shift the credit from nature to ourselves. We see the world as dead unless we are observing it. “If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound?”

When we observe nature, we are stopping it to measure it or take a photo of that instant. “When we stop the unfolding rhythms of nature, then we imagine that our projection of consciousness unto nature is the only motion occurring,” writes Glen Aparicio Parry.

We become inflated as human beings and assume powers over time and nature that we do not possess. We falsely assume that we have the power of divinity and claim it for our own. In the Western world, we ferociously move forward toward innovation and a belief that we are mastering nature. This progress has led to remarkable accomplishments. Yet with our achievements, we become blind to other cultures with ideas that may contradict our collective beliefs about nature and science.

If we let go of our excessive thinking and are more accepting, then we are able to gradually move toward inner peace. We are able to realize that our mental activity by itself with not solve our problems. Our constant thinking can create more problems than it solves.

If we are able to find a way to detach ourselves, we can experience happiness. Yet if we believe that acquiring cars, money, lovers, or approval will make us happy, then we will never find it. Happiness can be found in what is whole and complete inside of us. “Inside we possess original mind, the ground of being we all share,” writes Glen Aparicio Parry.

“The good news, however, is that we are approaching the end of the era of the rational mind as the predominant mode of consciousness. The beginning of the unfolding of an intuitive (and more feminine) way of knowing is upon us. Rational thought, frequently associated with masculine principle, will not go away, but it will no longer be our master. The emerging integral consciousness will include our physical, emotional, mental structures, and these will underlie a new more inclusive understanding (wherein the rational will be literally standing under the intuitive) . . . .we need to put aside the negativity and confusion of the past and remember our connections with all human beings and all creatures. . . A new day is upon us . . . the only way we can make the transition successfully is to wipe away our tears and walk hand in hand together with one mind and spirit. . . We need to recapture what it means to be fully human in order to usher in a new era of integral consciousness, in which the full spectrum of human potential is activated,” writes Glen Aparicio Parry.

Please watch this video about Psych-K which is one way of achieving a whole brain state:

Blog 56

Museum: Art as Therapy for Teenagers and Adults

April 26, 2016 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

One of my favorite things to do with my mother – who was born in 1934 – is to go to the De Young Museum which is located in Golden Gate Park in San Francisco, California, USA. My mom loves to go to exhibits with art from all parts of the world. My mom and I as well as other friends have seen sculptures of sub-Saharan Africa, American artists, art of the Olmec people of ancient Mexico as well as European artists – Mattia Preti, Domenikos Theorokopolos (also known as El Greco), Claude Monet, James Mc Neil Whistler (the painter known for “Whistler’s Mother”), Pierre-Auguste Renoir, Edgar Degas, Paul Gauguin, Paul Cezanne, Henri Toulouse-Lautrec, Vincent Van Gogh – and modern artists, like Keith Haring and Jackson Pollock.

My mom had a series of strokes that began in 2006. These strokes made it very difficult for her to communicate at first. I later realized how much she was able to learn and understand when I took her to the De Young Museum. I asked her if she wanted to rent the device which would allow her to listen to a description of the art. My mom said, “Yes.”

I pushed my mom in her wheelchair through the exhibit as she listened with her headset. I would roll her to each painting, paying careful attention to what she said she wanted to see. At her request, we stopped at virtually every painting for 3 to 5 minutes. She listened to every recording – the entire recording – about the artists, the paintings, and the history of when the paintings were created. Often, we would enjoy a delightful gourmet lunch on the patio, looking out at Golden Gate Park. These visits were wonderful and have been some of my most joyful moments with my mom as we took the time to absorb great works of artistic masters.

Art has the capacity to transform us. Symbols are very powerful and can affect us deeply. A movie such as “Schindler’s List” or a painting, like the “Mona Lisa” moves many people very powerfully. A picture is worth a thousand words. Just one flash of an image can have a profound effect on our emotions and thoughts.

Silence is also very powerful. We are often afraid of solitude in our American culture. Our iPhone or television can drown out silence all day long, all year long. For a lifetime, we can be cut off from our interior life. We may wake up at 3:00 in the morning with an anxious dream – sweating.

In silence, we can find our compassion and creativity pouring through us. Once we thought we would never find creativity, then it comes through us like a burst of fire. The embers of creativity always lie within us smoldering. This creativity inside us is just waiting us to notice it and express it. Join Sue Renfrew in this video and learn how to meditate and contemplate about a painting, whether you are at an art exhibit in a Museum or anywhere else.

Blog 53

May I Have Your Attention, Please?

April 19, 2016 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

“Your focus is your reality,” says Yoda. What we put our attention on has an enormous impact on our life. It seems that now things are competing for our attention more than ever. We can sit watching television with over 1000 channels available. Then, I can pick up my iPhone and look at my email, Facebook, news from thousands of sources, YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, and much more. All this distraction is important to the quality of our lives.

What is attention? The word, attention, originates in the Latin word, attendere. This means to reach toward, connecting us with the world, shaping and defining. Our attention works like a muscle. If we sit on the couch and do nothing, our muscles get weaker and do not grow; they atrophy. If we get off the couch and play soccer, we build muscle. Over time our legs can get big and very strong.

We live in an era when we receive many messages every day, by text, email, Facebook, or iPhone (voice). According the Nielson, the average American teen sends 3,339 text every month. Ninety four percent of American teens go online daily. Twenty-four percent go online “almost constantly.”

“Children today are more attuned to machines and less to people than has ever been true in human history,” writes Daniel Goleman. Each time a child talk with someone or watching others have a conversation, they are impacted. The social and emotional circuitry of a child’s brain is influenced by these social interactions all day long – at home, school, athletic practice, music rehearsal, or work.

One can see teens often watching movies while they are on their iPhones. They split their attention between two or more things at once. Unfortunately, our attention is a narrow and fixed pipeline. Our attention is not stretchable. If we split our attention, we are required to switch our attention from one thing to another thing and back again. This switching of attention drains our energy. We have more difficulty focusing in a concentrated way.

Our online lifestyle is shaping our physical brains. Children and teenagers are also playing many digital games on iPad, laptop computer, television, and iPhone. Around 8 percent of children and teens between 8 and 18 appear to be addicted to computer games. When we study the brains of these young people addicted to computer games, we see that their brains appear in some ways similar to alcoholics and drug abusers.

Our ability to relate well to others is very important in our success at work as well as our quality of life. In order to form healthy relationships with others, we need to build rapport. It is a process of give and take. We talk and exchange ideas. The better we communicate, the more solid the relationship. When I have good attention, I am able to focus on what you are saying.

Yet we are constantly bombarded with messages, emails, posts on Facebook, YouTube videos, and texts. At a romantic dinner out, we are too often diverted from connecting with one other. I am amazed how often, I see people on their iPhones at an expensive restaurant. Yet everywhere we are tempted by the call of our mobile devise. We must be reminded by commercials and billboards, do not text and drive. Even though, we can die because of our distraction, we choose to risk our life and the lives of others to text while driving!

Distraction has become a great problem in our social interaction. In Silicon Valley, where I live, companies have workplaces have banned laptop computers, iPhones, and tablet computers from company meetings.

When we develop our ability to focus, we are steady in a crisis. When we experience the fear or frustration that comes during times of stress, we are able to stay focused on what is important. Students inevitably will experience difficulties during a semester. Yet some students are able to do their homework and concentrate on their exams. Others find many ways to avoid what is important, because they are upset.

At a party, often you can see how focus works. Some people can carry on a conversation with music at a high volume, focusing on the words of the person with whom they are talking. Another person may be overwhelmed with all the distractions around them – music, people, and things – unable to focus in on listening to the person with whom they are having a conversation.

This ability to focus is a hidden key to our doing things well. It is our ability to focus that enables us to find our way when we experience emotional crisis, relationships challenges, or whatever problems what life presents to us.

Please watch this video on mindfulness and meditation:

Anima and Animus

April 12, 2016 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

Have you ever been carried away with a mood? We can be swept away with our emotions and thoughts. A mood can come over us, and we may look back and think, “I just wasn’t myself today.”

One way to think about these emotional storms is that there is a psychological benefit to these reactions. Carl Jung identified the animus and anima as parts of ourselves that erupt and interfere with our relationships and work. A woman has an animus, and a man has an anima. June Singer writes that “anima and animus are those unconscious part of ourselves that carry the mystery of sex which is not ours.”

How we identify with our masculine gender role or feminine gender role can vary greatly from one culture to another. It is obvious that there are – in fact – differences between men and woman. Whether these differences are more psychological or physical is debatable as well as complex. Yet it is obvious that men and women are different.

These differences show up in our dreams and fantasies. The anima shows up in a man’s dreams as an image of a woman, whereas the animus shows up in a woman as an image of a man. This is because the anima and animus are related to what is the opposite of our conscious attitude. When we mature, we develop the opposite attitude to what we cling to in our youth. “Men have dared to discover their vulnerability and their feeling side, while women – more confident now of their strengths – are beginning to take risks which would have frightened them before,” writes June Singer.

Animus is defined as a “usually prejudiced and often spiteful or malevolent ill will” or a “strong feeling of dislike or hatred.” Aminus is the masculine form of the word soul in latin. Yet the animus is not as much masculinity repressed as it is the unconscious other that a woman is prevented from being in her daily life. The part of herself that is furthest from her waking life is what makes up a woman’s animus.

Carl Jung describes the animus as a strange passivity. “In the depths of the woman’s being, the animus whispers: ‘You are hopeless. What’s the use of trying? There is no point in doing anything. Life will never change for the better.’”

When a woman is able to separate herself from her animus, she is able to see that part of herself objectively. She is able to be detached and just notice these negative thoughts and feelings. She does not fall into the false belief that these thoughts are her thoughts. When she simply observes these thoughts and realizes that her response to them makes all the difference, she is able to main a healthy detachment.

A woman’s animus assists her in becoming a complete person by shifting repressed energy into active and creative pursuits. The animus does have negative qualities such as “brutality, recklessness, empty talk, and silent, obstinate evil ideas.” Yet the animus also has a positive and valuable side. The animus can “build a bridge to the Self through creative activity.”

For a man, the anima, represents his unconscious feminine other. The anima symbolically represents the eternal feminine. For a woman, the animus represents her unconscious masculine. Conversely, the animus stands for the eternal masculine. Robert Johnson writes that the “anima and the animus function most effectively for us as mediators between the conscious and unconscious parts of personality.”

When one learns to work with the animus or anima, one discovers a certain kind of genius within oneself. Please watch is short video by Judith Peterson on the animus and learn how to work with this energy to improve how you feel, behave, and feel:

Blog 51

Expressive Art Therapy

March 8, 2016 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

Creativity can save us. We suffer when we lose our sense of creativity. Our lives are full of opportunities to create. When we cook a meal, we are creating. When we build a fence, we are being creative. If I sing to music on my iPhone in the car, I am being creative. In our creativity, there is great promise. Being aware of the possibility of creativity can dramatically improve the quality of our life.

When we feel angry or afraid or shame, we can be creative. It is also true that I can be destructive. I can drink alcohol to excess. I could punch as wall. I may argue with someone that I love. I can yell at the driver of a passing car.

Another set of possibilities is to be creative. The artist’s work is to awaken all that is and all we perceive. Mathew Fox writes: “The artist first does this by waking up oneself to what is. Then he or she can awaken others. The artist finds himself or herself vulnerable to beings and events and takes the time to experience them in depth. In this way, we wake up to being, we awaken to what is and its great depth and mystery.”

When we are feeling overwhelm emotionally, we have the opportunity to wake up to a new reality. Daniel Siegel writes that “emotion is the process of integration that brings self-organization to the mind.”

When we are experiencing emotions, we can work creatively to integrate a larger reality – a wider view of life and the world. When Carl Jung was going through a difficult time in his life, he discovered something important. He found a way to calm himself by being creative. He built a small dwelling on a lake. Dr. Jung also make drawings and paintings when he was emotional. He also build a miniature village like he used to do as a child.

Carl Jung wrote: “Everything seemed difficult and incomprehensible. I was living in a constant state of tension; often I felt as if gigantic blocks of stone were tumbling down on me…. My enduring these storms was a question of brute strength…. To the extent that I managed to translate the emotions into images– that is to say, to find the images which were concealed in the emotions– I was inwardly calmed and reassured. Had I left those images hidden in the emotions, I might have been torn to pieces by them. There is a chance that I might have succeeded in splitting them off; but in that case I would inexorably have fallen into a neurosis and so been ultimately destroyed by them. As a result of my experiment I learned how helpful it can be, from the therapeutic point of view, to find the particular images which lie behind the emotions.”

Please watch this video by Judith Peterson on using art to see reality more clearly and feel better:

Blog 46

Depression and Music

March 1, 2016 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

Some of the symptoms of depression include low energy, irritability, sadness, physical pain, low self-esteem, self-criticism, hopelessness, crying, and changes in eating and sleeping. The source of these symptoms can be biological, psychological, social or spiritual. One can suffer from low blood sugar or a low level of testosterone. Our beliefs can contribute to symptoms of depression. A bad marriage can lead to these symptoms. We may be in a spiritual crisis, lacking meaning in our life. As we transition from one set of beliefs about reality to another set of beliefs, we often feel loss.

When we experience loss, consciously experiencing and expressing our sadness enables us to integrate the loss. Expressing anger is also a part of the process of grieving loss. When we resist our feelings, we may feel numb. When people experience depression, they often describe their bodies as feeling numb. Often we avoid consciously experiencing our emotions and expressing them, when we fear being overwhelmed by them. When we fear being overwhelmed by emotions, we find ways to block our feelings. Often, these are not conscious choices to not feel.

Most often, we learned early in our lives to control our feelings by developing defenses. We may breathe in a shallow way and tighten our muscles to resist emotions. These defenses to consciously experiencing our sadness or anger can lead to depressive symptoms.

Unfortunately, feeling depressed is pretty awful. Depression is not good for our physical health. We can learn to express our feelings. One way to do this is with another person who is comfortable with emotion and affirms your experience of your emotions. In this way, we have a corrective emotional experience which enables us to learn to consciously experience and express our feelings.

Music is an outstanding way to consciously experience feelings. “When the time comes that you’re ready to begin facing your emotions, music that speaks to your heart can help you begin to release your pain,” writes Maureen Draper.

I can pick music which enables me to cry. The process of crying enables me to move forward with my grief and integrate the reality of my life without my beloved. When I hear a John Denver song, I often think of my dad. We can associate certain songs or musicians with a loved one who has passed on. Maureen writes: “Music that reminds you of a loved one brings to the surface whatever may not have been finished or unsaid between you.”

Art of all kinds, be it paintings, poems, stories, film or music, can evoke emotion. Great art reaches us emotionally, and we vicariously experience something important to us. This is why we can be so drawn to a certain author or musician. The beauty of art can move us in countless ways. We can cry with awe when listen to Adagio with Strings by Barber. We may experience exhilaration or hope when listening to Mozart or the Beatles.

Listening to music can be profoundly comforting. The music from our childhood can bring us feelings of being protected and nurtured by our parents as a child. I can remember the song, “Puff the Magic Dragon” from my childhood. Many songs from this era remind me of the emotions of my childhood.

When we are alone with our grief in the middle of the night, music can help us feel the comfort of being in our mother’s arms as a child. Music from early in a relationship with our husband or wife can bring up the emotions of falling in love, which are very healthy for our bodies.

We can use music to – in a sense – move backward in time to recapture hidden emotions and memories. Some may wish to feel the feeling of safety by imagining being held by the divine during our darkest hour of pain. Music can remind us of this kind of love.

Perhaps, finding the core of who we are is the most powerful dynamic to resolving depressive symptoms. Music is a powerful elixir to find the essence of our self. Please watch this video by pianist and author, Maureen Draper, about music and depression: