Blog Archives - Page 2 of 9 - Daniel Davis, LMFT

Are You Awake?

July 12, 2020 By Daniel Davis, LMFT 2 Comments

This is how I can chose to wake up! A meme is an idea. A meme is like a virus; This is a metaphor. We have learned a great deal about viruses in 2020. Advertisers, politicians and religious leaders use memes to rapidly spread ideas.

Viruses can be highly contagious and even deadly. Memes can be constructive or destructive. These ideas can make our lives dramatically better or lead us to disease and death.

Memes affect our subconscious mind. 90-95 percent of our thinking is subconscious, below the level of conscious awareness. When I tie my shoes, I do not think about it. I just do it. This is because after so many years, I have acquired the skills subconsciously. I can think about other things when I tie my shoes.

The subconscious mind develops after a baby is conceived until its seventh birthday. The subconscious mind is like a five year old’s thinking, very concrete and living in the present. It is simple and prefers clarity.

Memes are designed with issues of sex and survival as well as protecting of those we love. These are the forces that move our subconscious mind.

Many of us are manipulated without even realizing that we are being influenced. Have your ever hear of subliminal advertising? Why would successful corporations spend millions of dollars on such strategies, if they do not work?

When we have a bad habit, we have difficulty stopping a behavior. I may do something over and over, even though I do not want to consciously. I make a New Year’s Resolution to eat better. Yet I find myself eating Panda Express Honey Walnut Shrimp. We are programmed to make choices with memes.

Most importantly, we can rewrite our subconscious programming. Memory Reconsolidation scientifically proves that we can change. We can rewire our brain. We can change our subconscious programming. We have a choice. We can wake up. We can be objective and empowered. This is exciting!

Please watch the following video I filmed about EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques):

What You Don’t Know About Weed May Hurt You

September 4, 2019 By Daniel Davis, LMFT 19 Comments

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock, you’re likely aware that there’s been a substantial shift in the cultural attitude towards using marijuana for both medical and recreational use over the past decade.

In fact, there seems to be more public support for reforming marijuana law than at any point in our nation’s history.

Today, recreational marijuana is legal in 11 states and the District of Columbia, medical marijuana is legal in 33 states plus the District of Columbia, and polls have shown that more than half the country is now in favor of legalizing marijuana across the board.

But, just because something is publicly acceptable or popular doesn’t mean it’s safe or the wise thing to do…

The uncertainties and dangers of using weed are especially important to understand for those who are using, or considering using, marijuana for medical purposes. While the very name “medical marijuana” seems to imply that marijuana can be used for medical purposes just like any other medicine prescribed by a physician, the ways in which medical marijuana has been approved, prescribed, and made available to the public differ vastly from other commercially available prescription drugs.

Unfortunately, these differences and the use of medical marijuana itself pose problems that seem to be largely unrecognized by many physicians and the public.

I encourage you to watch the following video on what’s in weed and why it’s much more dangerous than people realize by Dr. Jerry Callaway, an ASAM-certified addiction medicine specialist in Santa Clara County, California, who’s been working in addiction medicine for the last 35 years.

Inside the video, Dr. Jerry Callaway discusses:

[0:56] Why medical marijuana can’t be classified as a medicine
[2:02] The short-term and long-term consequences of weed (including a study done in New Zealand on marijuana’s effects on IQ and brain functioning)
[3:03] How you can help someone get off of marijuana
[3:32] Why marijuana stays in systems of users for so long
[3:58] The effects of marijuana on the liver and why they are so critical to long-term health
[5:06] The emerging public health effects in Colorado of legalizing marijuana that are now being seen in California

And much, much more!

What do you think? Do you believe weed should be legalized for both medical and recreational use, or just one or the other? Why or why not? Be sure to share your thoughts on this important and timely issue below. I look forward to hearing from you and I know we can all help each other!

The Genetics of Addiction

June 28, 2019 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

When I was born, my family lived about a 5 minute walk from the current Apple Computers headquarters in Cupertino, California, USA. Much has changed here in Silicon Valley. Very few cherry or apricot orchards remain, and now it is a center of the information economy for the planet.

Amidst the many Google, Amazon, Facebook buildings in Santa Clara Valley are many wine bars, breweries, and marijuana dispensaries. Like any other city, town or village about 15 percent of the population has the gene for addiction. Some cultures have an unusually high rate of addiction, but addiction is a problem in every corner of the world.

My grandfather, Early Byrd Davis, was Cherokee; Native Americans have a 75 percent rate of alcoholism. He was a raging alcoholic. How do I know if I carry the gene for addiction?

Please watch this video on genetics and addiction by Dr. Jerry Callaway:

Does someone’s drinking or drug use scare you?

June 22, 2019 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

Do you know how to tell when someone you love has an addiction? It is like being lost. Have you ever traveled to an exotic place, like Honduras, Cameroon, or Taiwan? When I am in a place with signs in a language that I cannot read, I feel unsure and disoriented. It is even more confusing when I cannot find someone who speaks English to help me. Addiction is like being lost in a foreign country.

Denial is the hallmark of addiction. One may rationalize a ticket for drunk driving or blackouts. Even an overdose and waking up in the Emergency Room can be dismissed. “It’s no big deal. I am fine! I will never drink vodka again”

Signs are misunderstood or ignored. Paying attention to the symptoms and signs of addiction can be lifesaving.

Please watch this video by Dr. Jerry Callaway on the signs and symptoms of alcoholism and other drug addiction:

What is Alcoholism?

June 13, 2019 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

I hear people talk about alcohol in glamorous ways. The fine wines in the tasting rooms of Napa Valley, pints at microbreweries, and Champagne in upscale restaurants are consumed to celebrate achievements in life. When does drinking become a problem?

One way to define addiction is when one continues to drink even though alcohol is creating problems. Ten percent of American drinkers consume more than 70 drinks a week on average. Do you drink more than ten drinks a day routinely?

What about those people addicted to alcohol who do not drink so heavily? A maintenance drinker is an alcoholic who consumes in a very controlled way. A binge drinker is someone who periodically drinks too much, sometimes with embarrassing behavior as a result. A dry drunk is a physiological alcoholic who no longer touches alcohol; yet the thought disorder which underlies addiction remains unchecked.

Please watch this video by Dr. Jerry Callaway on alcoholism and other drug addiction:

Do You Know Someone Caring for Their Aging Mom or Dad?

September 9, 2018 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

In 2006, my mom had a stroke. It has been very challenging – at times -caring for my mom as well as making decisions about her welfare. Yet there is little in my life that has taught me more about patience, compassion, faith, and love.

When I began this journey in 2006, I had no idea how long our family, friends, and I would be coping with these complicated and important issues regarding my mother’s care.

But with all the many complications and pain, there has been much growth and joy. I am very grateful for the opportunities that I have had to learn about caring for aging adults.

Janet Child from the Center for Living with Dying has a playlist with several videos about caregiving for aging parents and as well as grief. Please watch these videos:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLhd63xSGvW8AKigSOyLrA2nTCR5ay2g54

Blog 75

What is Tragedy?

August 30, 2018 By Daniel Davis, LMFT 2 Comments

Whether it is a fire, tsunami, or a school shooting, tragedy can come in many forms. A tragedy can be very disruptive both in our relationships and work as well as inside of us – in our thoughts, feelings, and behavior.

We can lose our home in a fire. The many complications of losing a home can create great hardship. We may have no safe place to sleep. We may have lost someone we love dearly to fire.

These complications of our life can be magnified by our internal reactions. We may lose sleep. Our attention may wander. Memories may flood our mind suddenly. We may react angrily for little reason.

Please watch this video by Janet Childs from the Center for Living with Dying about tragedy:

Blog 74

How Do You Resolve Grief? Do You Write In a Journal?

June 26, 2018 By Daniel Davis, LMFT 1 Comment

Writing is a great opportunity to privately express myself. I can journal words not another living soul reads.

There is great freedom in this practice. My language forms a bridge from ideas swimming around in my head to concrete language on paper. I like to use a pen and paper when writing.

Yet, sometimes if I am at the beach, I will use my iPhone to capture ideas in my notes section. Whatever form the writing takes helps me. When I write I am able to integrate the ideas that I write with the emotions I am experiencing about the subject.

Letter writing may be a lost art for many. I remember learning to write letters in school as a child. Now I text and write emails. I cannot remember the last time I sent someone a letter for personal reasons. I do send a birthday card occasionally.

Yet, a letter provides me with an opportunity to express important words that help me heal.

Please watch this video by Janet Childs about expressing grief by writing a letter:

Blog 73

Shame and Guilt and Grief

June 4, 2018 By Daniel Davis, LMFT Leave a Comment

Do you avoid talking or thinking about a subject because it is so embarrassing? Have you ever kept a secret from yourself?

Our shame and guilt can have an enormous impact on our lives. We can devise elaborate methods to avoid the pain of toxic shame.

Maya who is gifted in math class pretends to not understand, because she does not want to appear intelligent. Maya would rather not stand out, so she gets a grade of a C instead of an A.

Toxic shame is the feeling and belief that one is worthless. The energy of shame can create walls that keep us from our deepest desires we may not even realize we want.

Our intelligence and our psychological insight cannot prevent toxic shame from robbing us of our joy and fulfillment. Isn’t it a shame when a talented guitarist never plays publicly again because of his need to play perfectly?

Especially in the area of grief and loss, we can be affected by guilt and shame. We may feel responsible for someone’s injury even though it was not our fault.

Please watch this video by Janet Childs about shame and guilt:

Blog 72

What Do You Say When Someone Talks About Taking Their Life?

May 29, 2018 By Daniel Davis, LMFT 1 Comment

On a warm July night in 1985, I drove to the Capital Drive in Movie Theater to watch “Mad Max Beyond Thunder Dome.”

I was 22 years old and had just graduated from West Valley College with my AA degree in French. My friend Arthur who was 33 years old had suggested that we see the film. I was saddened by my father’s death the year before, but I was hopeful about starting at San Jose State University in the Fall as a transfer student.

On this July night, I parked next to the speaker at the drive in theater in my 1984 Toyota Pickup Truck and pulled it into the window of my truck.

Arthur and I chatted about West Valley College and the Oakland Raiders and Sammy Hagar. Arthur suddenly said when I get my check this month, I am going to get my gun out of the pawn shop and kill myself.

I was very angry at Arthur. I was outraged and insisted that he stop talking about it. Arthur kept talking about it, and I drove Arthur home before the movie ever started. I never told anyone what Arthur had said to me. I never spoke to Arthur again.

A month later, Arthur’s brother Bill called me and told me Arthur had killed himself with his shot gun. Bill asked me to be a pall bearer at Arthur’s funeral, and I accepted the honor.

It took me many years to accept what had happened. I felt grief as well as tremendous guilt over many years. My friend Arthur’s suicide was very painful for me.

I wish that I had known to ask someone knowledgeable about Arthur’s intentions to kill himself. I wish I had known what I could do.

Please watch this video by Janet Childs from the Center for Living with Dying about what to say to someone who talks about taking their life:

Blog 71